IRC Quotes : Page 4

<spinn> I'm on the phone with my client, and his son who is apparently a designer
<spinn> KILL.
<spinn> ME.
<spinn> look, I typed that a whole two minutes ago and you HAVEN'T FUCKING KILLED ME YET
<spinn> STILL LIVING OVER HERE
* shil stabs spinn to death
<spinn> thanks! urk
* spinn dies
<Lore> Oh, I thought you needed ops to kill Spinn.
*** spinn is now known as spinn_ghost
<spinn_ghost> FUCK
<spinn_ghost> THEY'RE STILL TALKING TO ME
<Lore> Heh.
<spinn_ghost> TORMENT NEVERENDING
<Lore> Aren't YOU supposed to be haunting THEM?
<spinn_ghost> YOU'D THINK
<jacquilynne> I think you might have been better to have shil kill them.
<Lore> Good point.
<Lore> You really need to think these things out, O spectre.
<spinn_ghost> ooOOOOooooOOOOooo
<spinn_ghost> but I thought, man, dead 'n stuff
<spinn_ghost> shuffle off this mortal coil
<spinn_ghost> I'm astounded this headset is still on my head in fact
<Lore> If you ask me to kill my stepfather, well.
<Lore> No dice, ghosty.
<Lore> Unless there's something in it for me, you dig?
<spinn_ghost> WHERE'S THAT FUCKING SMIRKY VENCKMAN
<spinn_ghost> no, wait, then I'd have to deal with slimer
<spinn_ghost> scratch that

<Craig> alright, I'm kinda creeped out by our new fancy Ricoh copiers. They come out of sleep mode when you walk up to them.
<Kyol> Neat/
<Leth> *SHALL WE PLAY A GAME*
<CrazyClimber> "you are too close to this car! back away now!"
<agent_orange> you need to up the roofie dose so that .. uh ... never mind
<Craig> "What would you like to copy today, Employee # 4823-A3-93?"
<SeanQ> "This document appears to be the Waldorf Astoria cake recipe. Your pay will be deducted $.10 per copy."
<Samwise> "I'M SORRY DAVE. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT. ... Hahaha, just kidding, Craig. I can't resist that joke. So, what can I do ya for today; some collated minutes of the last meeting, perhaps?"

<Brodie> Now, if everyone in the US was stoned, Bush would be able to sell "Terrorists are evil. Saddam is evil. Let's get Saddam" more easily.
<CrazyClimber> he's also be able to sell potato chips and cheetos more easily.
<Leth> we could invade whatever country Frito-Lay is from, and subjugate them to our muchies way!
<zompist> o/~ hail, hail fritonia... o/~
<antihero> But then you'd get a terrible schism from the loyalists, forced to create Cheetonia
<Samwise> Now now... there's room for the Cheese Party in Fritonia.

<Brodie> Now, if everyone in the US was stoned, Bush would be able to sell "Terrorists are evil. Saddam is evil. Let's get Saddam" more easily.
<Samwise> Brodie: do you think that's the extent of any connection between saddam and terrorism?
<Brodie> Well, unless you just want to call everything bad "terrorism", yes.
<AliasN> "Becker" is terrorism?
<Samwise> You don't consider paying people to perform suicide bombings terrorism?
<CrazyClimber> well, sam, there's really no need to pay them
<tieboy> how do you pay people to kill themselves
<tieboy> what do they spend it on?
<antihero> tie: bactine and aloe vera
<Samwise> You give the money to their families.
<CrazyClimber> if only suicide bombers bought their supplies from acme, they'd be fine after the explosion
<Samwise> Yeah, and their targets would at least get some free bird seed.

<hockeyfag> Boi will be here tonight.. if I was thinking I would've grabbed afew things from the hospital for him..
<tieboy> like a psychiatrist?

<AliasN> But why would you choose something that makes people think it would be pronounced "mouse" then?
<Maus> Oh, it's my name.
<Maus> Last name. Didn't have much in the way of choice.
<Leth> maybe if you find the right guy, you can change it

<Kyol> I actually caught a 9/11 documentary and watched it. I'M SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF.
* Craig 's TV will be turned off tomorrow night.
<Brodie> It has already begun.
<Brodie> Walter Cronkite weighed in.
<Kyol> But, on the plus side, it was National Geographic Explorer "In Their Words" or something - amateur/pro-am filmmakers films from 9/11. That wasn't half bad.
<CrazyClimber> maybe i'll watch animal planet, except i'm sure it'll be all the cute puppies and kittens whose lives were ruined when their owners died
<Brodie> 9/11: how did gerbils cope?
<Brodie> If the gerbils' lives chnge, then the terrorists have already won.
<Craig> they've GOT to keep running on their Wheels to Nowhere
<Brodie> There will be a minute's squeaky wheel silence tomorrow across every wood-chip lined cage across the great U S of A.
<Brodie> Oh wait-- we're not being sufficiently mawkish and sentimental about our nation's Time of Crisis Anniversary War Attack Moment Event.

<zompist> maybe it'll be more amusing if you imagine everyone in it naked
<Craig> No, Zomp, that's for public speaking.
<Leth> or sex with Lots
<tieboy> hurk
<Craig> there goes Tie's cerberal cortex

<CrazyClimber> gah
<CrazyClimber> some of the people on the local foodie message board are getting together at 8 am sunday to have sweetbread tacos at an open-air flea market
<tieboy> man. wouldn't it be satisfying to watch some riot police just beat the shit out of them?
<CrazyClimber> that sentence is a whole checklist of reasons *not* to be there
<Samwise> sw...sweetbread tacos?
<Leth> mmm....zombies
<tieboy> at 8am
<Craig> yum, guts in tortillas
<Craig> at 8 am
<Leth> nonono
<Leth> not just guts
<CrazyClimber> well, they actually do mention tripe too
<Leth> BRRRRAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSSSS
<Samwise> Does anyone know what sweetbread tacos are?
<Craig> "Here, have some disgusting part of some big, stupid, stinky mammal that we can't, legally, put in Puppy Chow. Salsa?"

<spinn> oh here it is. http://www.spinnwebe.com/temp/me_n_dad.jpg
<Leth> <click><drag><poit>
<Samwise> "You know, son, they do make clothes in colors besides black."
<SeanQ> you guys look like Batman and Alfred out sightseeing
<Craig> that is one SWEET hat, though.
<SeanQ> "Sir, if you refuse to wear the mask, you really should consider leaving the cape at home..."
<Craig> you need to IADL that.
<SeanQ> make that pic IADL#1
<SeanQ> man, I hope I live long enough to wear a hat like that
<Samwise> "Say... aren't you not supposed to be able to cross water?"
<tieboy> "Now, don't you go bitin' the head off that pigeon."
<Craig> but, daaaaaaaddd....
<Hockeyfag> you do look sinister in that picture
<spinn> yeah, it's all coat
<spinn> well, that and the eye
<spinn> man I can't wait for coat weather again

<Freyja> from the apocalyptic storm outside, it looks like Florida is about to get blown off the face of the earth.
<Kyol> Well sure, y'all can't figure out how to vote... _twice_.
<Freyja> we've angered the wrathful God of Democracy?

*** aFnUtDi is now known as antihero
<mdxi> "aFnUtDi" reads a whole lot like "AF Nudity". i thought maybe dodge had come back to show us all...something we never, ever wanted to see
<zompist> jeez. dodge nude would be about the size of a puppy
<Kyol> puppy? Guppy.
<spinn> Guppy? Asshat.
<CrazyClimber> Asshat? Assclown.
<antihero> Assclown? Ouchy the Clown.
<Kyol> bzzzzzzt.

<zompist> whee!
<Drusilla> this will end in tears.
<zompist> and bloodsheed! yes!
<raven> and molasses cookies!
<Drusilla> no, it's starting with the cookies
<Drusilla> the blood will come when we're down to the last one
* wabewalkr starts hoarding "Fig Newtons."
<agent_orange> I can fit *twelve* mallomars up my mud tunnel!
<Down10> I glad you didn't quit after ten. That shows commitment.
<raven> pffff. You've been letting your training slide, haven't you, agt?
* Drusilla coughs up a mallomar
<wabewalkr> Well, that probably came out easier than agto's.
<agent_orange> I meant boxes
<agent_orange> the scouts came by
<raven> ah, good. I was worried there for a moment.
<agent_orange> I got four sleeves of Mint Shits up there too
<raven> "Okay, girls! I'll buy as many boxes as you can shove up my ass! Go!"
<Drusilla> "moooooommmm!"
<zompist> i bet you can't fit an entire girl scout up there
<wabewalkr> You *do* have your proctologist on speed dial, don't you?
<agent_orange> BAM BAM BAM let's keep 'em coming, Scouts!
<raven> nah, as a girl scout, that wouldn't have fazed us a bit. Selling was really competative.
<Drusilla> true.
<Down10> So *that's* why they're called Brownies
<Drusilla> it's like the mafia
<Drusilla> but with cookies
<raven> "Whatever you say, sir. But we'll have to see the money up front."
<wabewalkr> So it's like hooking?
<Machival> it's like one of those cartoons with the snake where it eats bugs bunny and you can see his outline, only it's a girl scout girl popping out of agt's asscheek.
<zompist> girl scouts... hardened, jaded salespeople, driven by a fire beyond pity or understanding... they've seen it all, baby
<agent_orange> yeah, but they have their limit
<agent_orange> believe me, i know
<Drusilla> i wonder what the girl scout to avon/mary kay ratio is.
<wabewalkr> I bet it's pretty high.
<Drusilla> yeah, it seems like a natural progression.
<Drusilla> hmmm.
*** zompist changes topic to '<agent_orange> I meant boxes. the scouts came by'
<Drusilla> that has no overt mention of anal training
<Drusilla> how will the daytime people be properly horrified?
<zompist> they know agto
<wabewalkr> True, but it will still bring up the BMI for us.
<agent_orange> they're used to me
<Drusilla> i want overt horror, dammit.
<Drusilla> no pansy inferences.
<wabewalkr> Besides, they'll probably come up with something *worse*, if it involves agto and scouts.
*** agent_orange changes topic to '<agent_orange> I meant boxes. Drusilla came by'
<Drusilla> that's better.
<wabewalkr> Nah, the original topic brought to mind a nervous agto digging large holes in his basement, with sinister cardboard boxes in the background.

<wabewalkr> You need to figure out the needs of your audience.
<wabewalkr> Give them what they want, sell them what they need.
<Lore> Brunching Shuttlecocks Brand Food and Shelter
<Lore> It's staple-larious.
<wabewalkr> I was thinking more psychologically.
<Lore> Brunching Shuttlecocks Brand Love and Affection
<wabewalkr> There ya go!
<Lore> Now With Retsin!

<Samwise> did you hear about that truck they chased down in Israel?
<CrazyClimber> was it full of raisins?
<Samwise> Worse!
<Lore> Currants?

<Lore> I put up a bunch of photos of things. Hopefully nice enough photos that people could use them as stock photography.
<Lore> I don't charge for them, or require registration, or require a credit in the finished work.
<Lore> I advertise the hell out of my Web programming business on the site.
<Lore> The idea being that designers who can't program enter the site.
<Samwise> Of course, free photos are a good bait.
<Lore> And are trapped in the rainwater I store in my modified stamen.
<Lore> Wait.
<Lore> No.

<AliasN> Thank god another girl is here. Hi raven.
<raven> hey, alias.
<Craig> you girls wanna talk about shopping or ironing or something?
<Leth> maybe curtains
<AliasN> cramps
<CrazyClimber> i hear when chicks get together they trade URLs of their pics
<agent_orange> my vaginitis burns like a white hot-pizza oven
<agent_orange> on the SUN
<CrazyClimber> in summer?
<agent_orange> well, I got cream for it
<Leth> well, combine it with a yeast infection, and you have a nice lil bakery business
<AliasN> Oh, that just means someone's talking about your vagina, agto
<agent_orange> aren't they all!
<tieboy> people are always talking about agto's vagina
<agent_orange> "What in god's name is that smell?"
<Craig> I think it's on the cover of both Newsweek and The Economist this week
<Leth> especially the guys at the police lab trying to get it out of the paperweight so they can identify it
<zompist> but no one does anything about it!
<raven> don't make us start kneecapping you fuckers.
<tieboy> it's only because they keep him behind glass at the carnival
<CrazyClimber> it might even be one of the vaginas on this coffee cup
<agent_orange> "You keeping a dead vietnamese teenager in your pussy, there, son?"
<mdxi> oh cool, you got the Vaginas of the Animal Kingdom coffee cup?
<agent_orange> I got the Vaginas of the Animal Kingdom client list
<agent_orange> what else do chicks talk about?
<agent_orange> my husband can't get it up!
<agent_orange> thank GOD

<agent_orange> I have a naked little boy covered in chocolate crawling all over me. unfortunately, it's my son.
<agent_orange> damn gypsy curses!
<Craig> Time for the belt?
<agent_orange> time for some pants, I think
<zompist> covered in chocolate, sure.
<zompist> agto, he's BLACK
<zompist> DEAL with it
<CrazyClimber> the preferred term is agto-american

<mdxi> this weekend i was told stories of what goes on in the Meat Science building on campus
<mdxi> apparently it's a smalish slaughterhouse with a high-grade lab attached
<AliasN> Meat Science?
<mdxi> meat science.
<mdxi> think: THE CHICKEN OF TOMORROW
<mdxi> or some such
<spinn> ladies and gentlemen, I give you: MEAT SCIENCE
<mdxi> opening up for DOKKEN...MEAT SCIENCE
<AliasN> Oh, my major's got a first name, it's b-o-l-o-g-n-a
<Gayo> Awesome. I wish my uni had a slaughterhouse.
<zompist> meat science will be playing morse science high, and it's homecoming!
* agent_orange stares at a flank steak
<agent_orange> if only we could *reason* with it!
<mdxi> much of south campus is dedicated to acriculture and animal husbandry. and slaughter.
<mdxi> my office, for instance, is next to the Poultry Diagnostic Center
<mdxi> which just makes me giggle
<zompist> well, *somebody* has to study how to kill and torture animals
<Gayo> Oooh, animal husbandry
<Gayo> Advanced Mouse Fucking
<agent_orange> Mouse Fucking 495
<mdxi> images of chickens in respirators being flow-tested in big acrylic tanks
<Leth> well, someone has to learn how to be a forest ranger and hide in a little tower with their rodents anally inserted
<Craig> sounds like my u., Mdxi
<agent_orange> Poultry Diagnostic Center
<agent_orange> <grabs giblet> "Okay, turn your head and cough."
<mdxi> Heinz Gravy - Enigneered for Today's Higher Revving Poultry
<agent_orange> brrrrumm! <flrppltpltpllty>
<AliasN> So, I'm guessing "Sweetest Smelling Campus" is out of the question for you guys?
<mdxi> wish i'd had a camera last year on the day those turkeys escaped. they were hopping all over people's cars and stuff
*** agent_orange is now known as Dennis_Leary
<Dennis_Leary> So, you go 4 or 5 thousand miles without putting new grease in your chicken?

<Mia_D> ENTRY LEVEL WEBDEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY COLLEGE CLASS LIKE HAVING GLASS GROUND INTO EYE AND THEN WASHED OUT WITH ACID AND COOKIES

<zompist> yay. i've fixed all my bugs, made a change for another area, and now have nothing to do.
<tieboy> i've done nothing
<tieboy> and have nothing to do
<zompist> well, sounds like it's time for d&d!
<tieboy> I want to be a 7th level half-elven pimp!
<zompist> don't be silly
<zompist> half-eleven is 5.5, not 7
<tieboy> fine. my name is Trevor
<tieboy> alignment is Lawful-Apathetic
<zompist> ok, trevor. half-elf, half-chihuahua?
<tieboy> nope. just half elf
<spinn> heh
<spinn> yeah, half nothing else
<tieboy> i lost my lower limbs in a pimping accident
<zompist> ouch
<tieboy> my weapon of choice is a catapult
<tieboy> so populate the dungeon with large, slow moving creatures plz
* zompist can already see that this isn't going to be one of those really serious sessions
<zompist> ok, tie, you're standing on a windswept, bare plain. in front of you is a trail leading down to a half-buried gate.
<tieboy> i bury the trail
<zompist> righto! in front of you is nothing at all, leading down to a half-buried gate
<tieboy> i dispatch some hookers to go check it out
<zompist> they run giggling to the gate and attempt to arouse it, but can't get it up
<tieboy> okay, i go open the gate and dispense a few bitchslaps
<zompist> the gate doesn't take kindly to your bitchslaps, but it opens
<tieboy> does the gate look like it's been buried all the way recently?
<zompist> of course not! what would make you think that?
<tieboy> i light one of my hookers and peer inside
<tieboy> inside the gate, not inside the hooker
<tieboy> also, i go to lunch in about 7 minutes, so you might want to make something happen
<zompist> ok. large, slow-moving orcs slowly pile out of the gate
<tieboy> woo!
<zompist> "whooooooo diiiiiisssstuuuuurrrrrrbs uuuuuuuuuuus?"
<tieboy> i load up my catapult with hookers and engage
<zompist> which hooker are you engaged to?
<tieboy> i let you have that one
<zompist> the hookers are propelled onto the orcs and kiss them senseless
<tieboy> bizzatches s'posed to get paid first
<zompist> they're eager, is all
<CrazyClimber> not if they're doing it for love
<zompist> however, dolemite comes by, and since he's way cooler than you are, he steals them all away for HIS pimping empire
<Samwise> pimpire?
<tieboy> don't i get a saving throw?
<tieboy> i'm a pimp. i've got my own dice
<zompist> ok, try to beat a 43
<tieboy> i got a 2
<CrazyClimber> sure takes zomp a long time to evaluate 2 > 43
<tieboy> he's on a mac
<tieboy> and i'm getting a big mac
<zompist> sorry, work intervened
<zompist> aren't you at lunch yet?
<tieboy> some DM. shish!
<tieboy> i am now, mr. doesn't want to play serious D&D

<AliasN> Now, if you want to see a /real/ dick...http://www.tednugent.de/Goats.html
<raven> I bet those goats were terrorizing a native village somewhere, and he saved them all from the baaaaing and the tin can eating....
<AliasN> But then they had to put up with his hat, so really where's the justice?
<spinn> snkkt
<MisterQ> sheesh.. what a wussy.. hunting wild goats with a compound bow
<raven> yeah, what's wrong with bludgeoning them to death with a stick?
<MisterQ> all you really need is a dagger made from flint or obsidian
<AliasN> Or overfeeding them?
<Freyja> or a sharp kick. They're not that robust
<Down10> Or maybe dropping a big boulder on them from above like Wile E. Coyote
<MisterQ> or an intricate temple full of rotating sawblade traps
<Freyja> those look like domestic goats. Bet he just shot them down in a fenced pasture
<raven> heh. "URK! HEART...VALVES...CLANGING...SHUT!"
<raven> "Yup, got that goat with a steady diet of fried cheese!"
<MisterQ> fried cheese.. it kills prey dead
<MisterQ> "Here we have laid a trap of fried cheese. Lets see if anyone at TGIF falls for.. er.. orders it."
<MisterQ> "Yeah.. I cought that one five years ago in the jungle.. took four pounds of fried cheese."
<raven> "People say that we're taking all the sport out of killing animals, but hey! Hot oil can spatter!"
<AliasN> He probably just bored them to death.
<AliasN> "So I'm playing this gig in Italy, right? And this chick and her /mother/ I swear to god, come up and start wailing on my manmeat...I was like 'whoa! Italian chicks rock!'"
<AliasN> Four hours later, the goats mercifully expire
<MisterQ> Death by boring exagerated story?
<MisterQ> I guess there's just so far you can safely roll your eyes in disbelief before death sets in
<AliasN> If I had to listen to that goofball talk for four hours, I think I might try to find a shoelace to swallow or /something/

<agent_orange> spam:
<agent_orange> High Seas ANAL-ADVENTURES
<agent_orange> CAPTAIN STABBIN
<agent_orange> The-Anal-Adventures aboard the S.S. STABBIN
<agent_orange> What happens when you take an anal-horny Captain, a 60 foot yacht and his good looking deck hands into the open waters of Florida ???
<spinn> excellent bass fishing?
<zompist> a 60-foot yacht?
<zompist> man, that's a lot of anal training
<Drusilla> ow.
<Drusilla> my head.
<agent_orange> I wonder where they got the idea that I would be interested in such a thing?
<Drusilla> i think i just had an aneurysm.
<spinn> it's where you get the phrase "fishin' like a homo"
<agent_orange> dammit! broke my mouse button!
<tieboy> glad they remembered to take the yacht
<tieboy> otherwise it would be kind of a tragic porn
<agent_orange> What happens when you take an anal-horny Captain, a 60 foot yacht and his good looking deck hands into the open waters of Florida ???
<agent_orange> Hijinks?
<Drusilla> anal hijinks
<agent_orange> madcap adventures?
<tieboy> What happens when /I/ take them? I wind up swimming home, I guess
<mdxi> "sunburned gay porn filmed in international waters"
<agent_orange> ooo, tragic porn
<agent_orange> I like that
<agent_orange> where the guy blows his load on the dirl's face just before she dies of tuberculosis
<zompist> or a young stud falls in love with an asian girl and she ends up committing bukkake
<tieboy> seppukake! the newest craze in japan!
<tieboy> woman dips her face in the entrails of several hundred disgraced samuri
<Drusilla> fresh entrails, right?
<zompist> stud meets slut, stud loses slut, slut bangs 500 men, stud returns just as she dies of exhaustion

<SeanQ> savantbot
<SeanQ> can only do one thing, but really really well
<Craig> take it to vegas and get rich
<mdxi> it's not retarded, it just has that trendy new neurological condition. Auschwitz Syndrome or sometihng.
<Craig> Asperger's
<mdxi> Allstar. Hapsburg. Hamburger.
<mdxi> TOO EARLY
<SeanQ> haven't heard of that one
<mdxi> it's all the rage among the geeky-lamer types these days.
<mdxi> DML is, like, the poster child
<mdxi> it's like Autism-Lite
<Kyol> It's Excuse of the moment, I think.
<Kyol> Coz like ADD is passe.
<mdxi> wanna join the "It's not my fault i'm this way" in-crowd but had a perfectly normal childhood? Meds too expensive? TRY ASPERGER'S TODAY!!!
<SeanQ> huh, I'm still stuck on Chronic fatigue Syndrome, I need to update my excuse book

<Leth> "A fire still burned at the Kingsford Charcoal Plant Friday. Fire crews said the plant, on U.S. 27 just south of Burnside, had been burning since about 5:00 pm the evening before."
<Samwise> "Get some brats on that fire!"
<raven> "Local residents are rushing to the scene with brats, burgers and "S'mores fixins"...."
<Craig> "Fire crews were seen hurriedly wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil..."
<spinn> "firefighters waited for the flames to die down, then used several forklifts to distribute the smouldering building pieces evenly."

<jacquilynne> Okay. I'm going to IKEA. Later folks.
*** SIGNOFF: jacquilynne (Quit: And now I lay me down to sleep...)
<CrazyClimber> she's going to sleep at ikea?
<spinn> I think in the intervening half second she realized how tiring ikea would be
<agent_orange> her bed at home is broken
<agent_orange> SMASH!
<CrazyClimber> tried to have a bedtime snack last night, next thing she knew, the light fixture was on the floor and the dogs next door were howling
<agent_orange> meanwhile, at IKEA
<agent_orange> <HONK> <HONK> <HONK> <HONK>
<agent_orange> "lock the doors! lock the doors!"
<agent_orange> jacq: <yaaawwn>
<Samwise> "Boy am I thirsty..." "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooo........!"
<Samwise> *slowmotion lunge for can*
<agent_orange> "No no no no no no--" <creeeeeeeaaaAAAAACKBAMBAMBABITYWHAPSMASH ving ving ving vingvingvingvingingingingwhok>
<agent_orange> jacq: <smack> <smack> zzzzzzzzz
<Samwise> *spoing* OW MY EYE phhloomp phloomp
<agent_orange> "Miss, miss, you can't__" <sthoop> "... a ... a ... a spear ..."
<agent_orange> Innocent Bystander, across the street: "If only we could reason with it..."
<Samwise> "Copy that, we have a two oh four niner, in progress at the ikea parking lot."

<mdxi> also: The Interactive Digital Software Association (the trade group of the gaming industry) kicked off this week's weirdness, announcing it has equipped each of the U.S. Navy's 72 submarines with a PlayStation 2, a GameCube or an Xbox and roughly 20 games each.
<zompist> there's nothing like a shootemup game for relaxing after a hard day's shelling of native villages
<Craig> wonder if the USN will use that as a recruiting tool.
<Craig> "Join the Navy -- now with GTA3 included!"
<zompist> tin can 1000 feet down, 40 tired and cranky sailors, 1 game box ... i see knife fights
<Craig> Skipper: "I'm going to take the controllers away until you boys learn to share!"
<zompist> "well, doesn't *that* just take the cake. i guess i'll be in my *bunk*. you all know where that is."

<mdxi> http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/central/08/30/thomas.cnna/index.html <- infantry troops tell baseball players to STFU and switch places with them if it sucks so bad
<tieboy> what, they didn't tell the soldiers that part of their job involved possibly getting killed?
<tieboy> "I'm a soldier, and lemme tell you, sometimes the enemy HAVE GUNS!"
<tieboy> "They shooted at me and everything!"
<CrazyClimber> at least one baseball player has died as a result of injuries during a game
<Gayo> I'd like to see this expanded to other fields, actually. Having the military saying "shut up and get back to work" can be a major part of all strike resolution.

<zompist> how come a megamonopoly with personal ties to satan can't get enough web servers?
<jacquilynne> Microsoft has a server shortage?
<zompist> apparently
<zompist> i keep getting server busy errors at slate.
<Craig> the Prince of Darkness is notoriously stingy with his IT budget.
<zompist> that's the problem with elder gods-- no sense of technology
<Craig> Brimstone ain't free, ya know.
<hockeyfag> Gates would only license satan so many concurrent licenses. Adding more would've bankrupted hell and some of the outer levels would've had to shut down.
<raven> And RIFing demons is a bitch.
<hockeyfag> I'd hate to see their unemployment applications..
<hockeyfag> old salary.... 5 souls a week occupation... tormenter of the damned
<raven> "YES, I've been TRYING to look for work!"

<sol-D> agto is actually a renewable source of evil. mastermind criminals buy agto. scrapings
<Otter> the truly evil buy agto scrapple
<Machival> he doesn't sweat normal human perspiration, but a black oil of liquified evil.

<spinn> oh, we discovered a friend of hock's got taken in by the nigerian spam scam
<Freyja> really? What a dumbass. I mean... no, I mean it

* agent_orange chooses this exact moment to go to the crapper
<sol-D> that's nice. just let loose in the floor?
<agent_orange> scuse me . scuze me. pardon me.
<agent_orange> I can't hear you, because I'm in the can, and I make a lot of noise, usually.
<agent_orange> grunting.
<AliasN> What a strange dichotomy. At the moment I'm reading a log where Agto is being terribly smart and intellectual, but in real time, he's uh...well he's...um
<raven> he's agt.
<spinn> the channel wouldn't be nearly as interesting if it weren't for the range of intellect and ability expressed by the...
<spinn> ...oh man did I just cut one. whoo!
<raven> greg!
<spinn> whoa! light a match!
* raven fans the air.
<raven> dammit, no more sauerkraut for you!
<spinn> heh heh
<agent_orange> well, anyway, while I was in the can, I was rereading Paul DeMan's Blindness and Insight, and was musing about how his collaboration with the nazi occupation forces impacts on his theory of authorial blindness in deconstructive criticism.
<agent_orange> and pinching an enormous, moray-eel sized pooploaf
* AliasN shakes head in the manner of a Sunny-D mom
<AliasN> That's our agto!!
<agent_orange> which reminded me of Luce irigary's idealization of ecriture feminine, but I took it no firther as I was out of toilet paper and had to use some Stanley Fish nonsense
<agent_orange> no one reads Fish anyway. might as well have some use on the earth
<agent_orange> well, enough of this ivory tower intellectualism. Where's the broads?

<spinn> well that's about attraction preference. when I think "binary sexuality" I think male/female
<spinn> like there's some other sexual orientation where you have four interlocking cubes for genitalia or something
<Maus> You're not knocking my cubesticals, are you?

<Zole> I actually like McDonald's food, but I'm uncomfortable calling them restaurants.
<Maus> I agree. I would prefer McDonald's "meat troughs"
<Zole> Or perhaps the "Walk Thru"
<Maus> Or McDonald's food chuckery
<Gayo> I like McDonalds food well enough, but the preparation makes me uneasy.
<Maus> it is in my experience that most food is ruined by examination of its preparation. The best way to go at McD's is to practice blissful ignorance.
<zompist> you can come to enjoy the piquant taste of sour cream and teenager spit
<Zole> Yes. And having read McYukkies, I am worried.
<Zole> I want my frozen patties thawed by someone who can come up with a damn punchline.

<AliasN> What. Is. Up?
<Leth> well, according to my email, I have the several choices today
<AliasN> Excellent!
<Leth> I can increase my breast size, my penis size, or have several sexy co-eds have wild sex with me
<AliasN> Why not all three?
<Leth> oh, and I can get low-interest mortgages
<AliasN> Because when you're having wild sex with sexy barely-legal co-eds you don't want to be worrying about interest rates
<AliasN> Am I right?!
<Leth> exactly. I want to know that reputable spamming financiers are watching my money like hawks
<hockeyfag> I've refinanced 6 times today so far, because with interest this low, I win and banks lose!

<AliasN> I might have been able to figure that out.
<AliasN> You'd think
<Leth> ya never know
<Leth> with that tiny litt- nevermind, that joke's run its course
<Kyol> Damn.
<Leth> you, however, remain funny as a fag
<Kyol> Hey, y'know, if it amuses _you_....
<Leth> oh, it does
<Leth> believe me, it does
<AliasN> *I'm* funny as a fag?
<Leth> nonono, I meant Kyo- well, actually, I dunno. We'll give it a shot. You might be
<AliasN> Oh. Whew!

<mdxi> "The latest iMac may look like a desk lamp, but at least it's an elegant desk lamp. Gateway's Profile 4 looks like the third-runner up in a design competition to see how much computer you can balance atop a keyboard." -- money.cnn.com
*** Crazy_Climber has joined #spinnwebe
<Kyol> Got a URL?
<agent_orange> I tink I have a spare one around here
<agent_orange> here, try this:
<agent_orange> httP;//www.cruisingforsex.com
<Kyol> That URL tastes like burning!
<Crazy_Climber> i hate showing up here and desperately wishing i had context
<CrazyClimber> i also hate thinking that i'd probably rather be without the context considering it's agt, kyol, and sex
<agent_orange> hey hey hey
<agent_orange> there's only room for three homos in this channel
<agent_orange> and all slots are filled

<hockeyfag> who are the 3 current homos?
<Samwise> You're two of them.
<hockeyfag> ah
<hockeyfag> figured I'd be down to 1.5 by now
<mdxi> kyol's the other half
<hockeyfag> kyols gay?
<mdxi> cc and leth have been saying so for months
<mdxi> so it gots to be true
<hockeyfag> ah
<CrazyClimber> you should see the spread of roses he has at his house
<CrazyClimber> and sean says it more than me
<CrazyClimber> i can't keep up with those two in the calling-kyol-a-fag department

<Lore> I like to be a sub-contractor.
<CrazyClimber> dru's one now too
<Lore> She's a sub-employee. That's worse.
<Lore> To begin with, she has to wear a uniform.
<Lore> I get most of my work done wearing nothing but a tattered pair of Powerpuff Girls boxer shorts.
<CrazyClimber> sounds like a uniform to me
<Lore> Only when I also put on the epaulets.

<Samwise> Mmmm, mexican meal...
<agent_orange> I'll have the cacachanga with the burrhea salsa
<Samwise> so, I went to this new mexican place, just getting started. Seemed the building they used was cursed; it's changed hands 4 times in as many years.
<agent_orange> and the porka del amor
<zompist> and it's run by ducks?
<CrazyClimber> do new mexicans use raisins in their cooking?
<agent_orange> donde esta del raisins?
<CrazyClimber> i win!
<Samwise> dammit, do you want to hear the story or not?
<agent_orange> yeah, but you didn't do it auf esgpagnia
<Samwise> Because if this keeps up, you'll NEVER hear another story from me!
<zompist> if you let this sort of thing stop you, you don't deserve to tell stories to us
<agent_orange> ...
<Kyol> I'm... Failing to see the threat there, Sam.
<Samwise> Oh, OK. I see how y'are.
<Samwise> then you'll never know about... THE CHIMICHANGA
<Leth> they nailed it to the plate?

<Leth> FrontPage 2002 bitches when you have Dreamweaver installed already on the same machine
<Leth> apparently it doesn't like it when other apps are designated as default HTML editors
<raven> is it a MS product?
<Leth> rave: yah
<raven> well, question asked, question answered.
<Leth> oh, never was a question, just surprised it complained so vehemently
<Maus> Did you get a popup?
<Leth> a dialog during the installation
<Leth> "Another application has been designated blah blah default editor blah blah DONT YOU WANT TO CHANGE THAT?"
<Leth> it asks three different times in different places, and keeps saying (Highly recommended)
<Maus> "A quick scan of your records show that you are currently a Methodist. Click the checkbox if you'd like to convert to Gates-worship (Highly recommended)"
<wabewalkr> "We are Microsoft. You will be assimilated."
<Brodie> "Listen, this is your last chance. I'm trying to be a nice program about it."
<Maus> "Either this is the default, or you'll be wearing cement shoes, capice?"

*** Lore has joined #spinnwebe
<MrLuke> [Lore] PANCAKES!
<Lore> That's funny. I could swear I told Luke to say "Ass."
<AliasN> Really. Thanks Leth.
<Leth> no problem
<Leth> I'll get you the address to send the "videos" later
<SeanQ> for his "friend"
<AliasN> When someone next asks me "who's the man"? I will reply wholeheartedly "Leth"!
<zompist> who's the man?
<AliasN> Leth!
<Leth> Lore: it's an easy mistake to make
<Leth> the ASCII encoding of "ASS" is most likely close to "PANCAKES"
<AliasN> Hello Lore.
<AliasN> ASS!
<Lore> Thanks, Alias.
<Lore> I think you're ready to move out of Purgatory now.
<AliasN> Yay!
<Lore> And into the Northgate Mall of Durham, North Carolina.
<AliasN> Oh, boo.
<AliasN> I'll stay in Purgatory,thanks.
<Lore> It's a lot like Purgatory, but there's a Sbarro's.
<Lore> Oh, come on. Purgatory doesn't have a Sanrio store.
<Lore> Oh, wait, there it is.
<Lore> Nevermind.
<AliasN> I'm just glad I'm out of hell. Sonny Bono kept hitting on me
<AliasN> No, for the last time I will /not/ sing Cherokee woman
<Lore> "Hell," an aged preist once told me, "Is a place where there is lots of wonderful food, but the people are starving, because they have no elbows and can't bend their arms to feed themselves."
<Lore> "And what of Heaven?" I asked.
<Lore> "Heaven," he replied, "is exactly the same. Except they have elbows."
<CrazyClimber> but they could feed each other in hell
<Lore> No, there's a bunch of demons with whips that smack them around if they try that.
<Lore> What, you think after thousands of years of starvation they didn't think of that?
<zompist> wait, if heaven is exactly the same except for the elbows, then there are demons with whips in heaven too.
<Lore> Uh.
<Lore> LOOK A FIRE ENGINE!
<zompist> wriggle out of THAT one, roshamboy!
<Leth> wasn't there a Sesame Street bit like that, where the alien creatures had to work together like that
<Lore> All biblical parables have been converted into Sesame Street shorts.
<SeanQ> lore, I loved the one where Elmo rose from the dead
<SeanQ> or when Prairie Dawn fed the 5,000... great stuff
<Lore> Those aren't parables. They're events.
<zompist> miracles, in fact
<Lore> Parables are like when Harry Monster...uh.
<Lore> I used to know these.
<Lore> My dad's wife had a bunch of little illustrated parable books.
<AliasN> Came back after spending all of Big Bird's dough
<SeanQ> so the Samaratin woman giving Jesus water is like Grover giving Cookie Monster a cookie
<Lore> No. If it has Jesus in it, it's not a parable.
<SeanQ> shit, I'm not up on my Biblical references at all
<zompist> the classic parable of jesus is that story of his about the ducks and the raisins
<Lore> Parables are little stories Jesus told to illustrate important points about not burning for eternity.
<AliasN> Jesus wasn't in the Prodigal son
<Lore> Right! There we go!
<Lore> The Prodigal Grover or Something.
<raven> and then the duck showed his wounds to Thomas, zomp?
<Lore> Ducks and the raisins.
<SeanQ> yah yah I know but I can't get good sleep at night and Father Luo's voice is so soothing soooo sooothhzznznnkkt
<SeanQ> I actually found a Teletubbies book that tells the story of World War II
<Lore> I don't know that one.
<Lore> Is that the one where God shall separate the ducks from the raisins?
<zompist> the duck said, "hey, jesus, after getting nailed, you could be raisin the dead!"
<SeanQ> and the duck being nailed to the floor foretold the crucifixion
<Lore> Once again I search on Google for elightenment and find only #spinnwebe logs.

<Lore Elfstar> Okay. I'm having a crisis of #spinnwebe. I know I'm being a bit of a drama queen by bringing it up, but it beats keeping it to myself and acting weird for unclear reasons.
<wabewalkr> What kind of crisis?
<Lore Elfstar> The problem is this: I say certain things in this channel that, on later reflection, I'd rather not share with the world on a permanent basis. I don't seem to be able to consider the difference beforehand, and I'm not sure it would be much fun for me if I had to.
<zompist> god knows no one ever acts weird for unclear reasons around here
<Lore Elfstar> On the other hand, I don't want to spoil everyone's fun at reading the logs. On the third hand, I like hanging out in #spinnwebe. I haven't come up with any solution after some months of considering this. Any insights?
<Lore Elfstar> It's all ego, actually.
<agent_orange> change you /nick
<wabewalkr> Ask raven to expunge the logs.
<Leth> just tell raven not to yeah what he said
<Lore Elfstar> Is that kosher?
*** Craig has changed the topic on channel #spinnwebe to <Lore Elfstar> Okay. . . I know I'm . . . a . . . queen. . . .
<Leth> oh sure
<Kyol> Yeah.
<zompist> heh
<Leth> Sean did it
<Lore Elfstar> Heh.
<SeanQ> oh yeah, there's about twwo megs of stuff about my current employer rotting in a vault somewhere
<CrazyClimber> but tell us which ones, so we can save our own copies
<Lore Elfstar> I'm so used to any complaint around here being met with the exact opposite of the complainer's request, that I thought if I asked for something to be expunged, it'd be set in extra-large bold text.
<zompist> of course, sop is for raven to put in a line "LORE WAS A REAL WUSS ABOUT CERTAIN COMMENTS HERE"

<mdxi> anyone who starts cutting themselves for any reason is a liability. time to say bye bye.
<Drusilla> he wouldn't really
<Drusilla> this is why i want to punch him in the face. repeatedly.
<mdxi> "you don't understand my PAIN" "you're goddamn right i don't, you fucking nutbag. get out."
<Drusilla> he just said that when i said i was down to cheer me up.
<mdxi> "and take your smiths albums with you"
<mdxi> i'm a certified counsellor from the Dennis Leary School of Kindness and Light

<jacquilynne> Huh. A news story just said that the Centre for Disease Control considers bullying to be one of the biggest threats children face.
<jacquilynne> Can someone explain to me how bullying became a disease?
<Samwise> heh. I guess they're sick of having their lunch money stolen.
<Brodie> They just sent out a press release urging Americans to "Quit it guys, it's not funny any more."
<Brodie> CDC urges "Hey, I need my hat back!"

<MisterQ> I was reading the old logs, rave.. I used to be funny.. sigh
<raven> heh
<MisterQ> All my humortastic abilities went the way of the emu
<jacquilynne> Which way did the emu go?
<MisterQ> that way
<Zole> You know... the emu place.
<MisterQ> under the ground
<Zole> It's not funny, I tell you what.
<MisterQ> no, the emu place isn't funny. Not like the penguin palace or the parakeet deathring

<jacquilynne> Huh. I'm one of Lore's fetishes.
<jacquilynne> I'm not sure whether to be amused or afraid.
<Freyja> no need to brag about it and rub it in our face
<zompist> look out the window... is he out there?
<MisterQ> you can combine the two: amfraid
<Machival> the official emotion of Am/trak/.
*** Samwise has joined #spinnwebe
<jacquilynne> sam
<Samwise> jacqui
<MisterQ> heya sam
<MisterQ> Be amfraid. Be very amfraid.

<AliasN> What in the name of god's holy onions is a "Trophy Porky's Pork Puffs"
<zompist> some porky's pork puffs you get after divorcing your previous hard-working but aged porky's pork puffs

* zompist is considering playing more black & white, but his creature is proving hard to train
<zompist> it keeps eating the villagers.
*** Otter has joined #spinnwebe
<Otter> Heya.
<random> beat him
<Otter> Beat me?
<random> not you. you're not eating villagers.
<AliasN> Are you?
<Otter> "I'm not *not* eating villagers."
<MisterQ> diet villagers
<AliasN> zomp are you treating your creature with love and respect?
<zompist> he started eating villagers when i wasn't paying him much attention, so i couldn't swat him much.
<random> maybe you should go for being evil instead then
<AliasN> It's a classic case of wanting negative attention, sounds to me
<AliasN> Oh, you're not paying me any attention, fine! I'll just eat the mayor!
<zompist> 'course, i may not be setting a good example
<zompist> i thought the villagers would like a horse. so i gave them one, but apparently it fell and crushed someone.
<zompist> see if they get any more horses, the little whiners.
<Otter> I'll bet nobody ever concludes their visits to Santa with "and a pony" anymore, huh
<zompist> i assume santa is a rival god anyway. i'd have to challenge his creature to a knife fight

<agent_orange> in the "I'll bet it is" department: http://www.nola.com/newsflash/louisiana/index.ssf?/cgi-free/getstory_ssf.cgi?n5009_BC_LA--SerialKillings&&news&newsflash-louisiana
<agent_orange> "They're on to me ‹ I mean, yeah, it can be rough," said Dominio's Pizza delivery man Jimmy Dale Eustace.
<spinn> "There's as many theories as there are people in Baton Rouge right now," said Baton Rouge Police Chief Pat Englade.
<agent_orange> what, six?
<spinn> that's just sloppy math. it's people - 1
<agent_orange> let's see ... BR was about 250k last time I looked...
<agent_orange> THEORY 1: evil faeries
<Maus> THEORY 12,327: the gummint
<Maus> Theories 8 through 236,296 are 'the gummint'.
<AliasN> "[I] make sure I have my uniform on," he said.
<agent_orange> "I hides the strangulation kit inside the flowers, so's they don't git too jiggety," confides UPS driver Delbert Ray Nostril

<spinn> gah
<spinn> oh here's a well-designed
<spinn> oh no it isn't it's a fucking mess
<spinn> http://www.subkultures.net/Furax?readjid=287563
<MisterQ> thats what happens when you hire squirrels as web designers

<spinn> wowwww
<spinn> you know what I completely forgot about
<spinn> that every-five-minutes abevigoda.com-loading guy
<spinn> he's still at it
<tieboy> da hell
<tieboy> it's not possible
<spinn> his net transfer has been pegged at 30k/sec, 24 hours a day, for like the past what, 8 weeks?
<tieboy> it can't be a human being
<agent_orange> maybe he's dead with his .44-shot head resting on the r key
<tieboy> i'm telling you, someone told Abe to look at the site, and he did, and then he died, and his nose is pressing down on the keyboard
<spinn> beheheh
<Maus> Maybe it's an obsessive compulsive with... damn it, agto wins.
<spinn> nah, tie wins
<Maus> Ooh, it's close.
<tieboy> oh, don't backpedal, Maus
<tieboy> you twat
<Maus> fag
<MisterQ> now if you combine the two, do you get 'fwat' or 'twag'?
<Maus> You get a very uncomfortable homosexual fellow.
<Maus> Or horrible cunnilingus.
<agent_orange> shut up
<agent_orange> tie wins
<tieboy> I have irony on my side
<agent_orange> that's a fungus, d00d
* zompist uses tie's winnings to buy everyone jim beam and ding dongs
<spinn> plus it requires a dessicated abe vigoda corpse that no one's bothered moving for eight weeks
<spinn> like how could they tell the difference I guess
<Maus> Well, the dead Abe has little Xs on his eyes. They must think he's sleeping. The decay's probably normal.
<agent_orange> the corpse doesn't shiver when they squeeze the glycerine suppository up its ass
<AliasN> agto...I love you
<agent_orange> back atcha babe

<AliasN> Kemlo is before my time.
<AliasN> Hahahaha
<tieboy> at least you're around for the DnaEra
<agent_orange> say, where is he?
<agent_orange> vacation bible school?
<tieboy> KEMLO IS GONE GONE I SAY AND YAAAAAAAAAAAY THXSPINN
<spinn> heheh
<spinn> you know, I am never tired of, or embarrassed by, tie thanking me for getting rid of kemlo and lots
<spinn> I think it's because I share his joy
<AliasN> These were bad people I take it?
<agent_orange> very bad men
<spinn> sorta yes and yes, respectively
<Machival> how about ben?
<spinn> kemlo survived so long because he gets under my radar
<spinn> ben took care of himself
<zompist> ben's an exile
<agent_orange> think lovecraftian horrors, but starting with nerds instead of calamari

<CrazyClimber> ok, i'm gonna park my sweet little ass on the bed for the night. see y'all.
*** CrazyClimber has left #spinnwebe
<hiway> aw. I miss his ass already.
<Down10> It _is_ a beautiful ass.
<wabewalkr> Starring Russel Crowe
<hiway> I wish I had a paranoid schizophrenic ass.

<Lore> This reminds me of discussing sex with GhostCoder. It just makes me sad.
<zompist> don't discuss it with him, lore. just sit back and enjoy it

<mdxi> "and" is a conjunction, btw. not an article.
<SeanQ> thank you, Lord Pedant of Pickydom

<Drusilla> my aunt lynne wrote a lovely piece about how she's afraid her son will get drafted and/or killed because of sept. 11.
<Drusilla> was published in a trade mag.
<raven> what trade? "Fleeing to Canada Quarterly"?
<Kyol> American Tin Foil Manufacturer's Ass'n.
<AliasN> Kneejerk Reactions Weekly
<Drusilla> no, it was a legal trade mag
<Drusilla> but i know my cousin
<Drusilla> he's a 4-f if there ever was one
<Drusilla> he doesn't go more than 20 miles from their house
<Kyol> Ah, much like Mikki.

<Lore> Frames suck Costco-sized packages of cock.

<AliasN> I can't believe it. My neighbour just called me asking to borrow a cup of...wait for it...hair gel.
<AliasN> It's an emergency, apparently.
<Samwise> I hope you provided some.
<AliasN> How could I not?
<SeanQ> "Give me a few minutes..." *fapfapfapfapfap* "Here ya go, Sparky."
<Samwise> "It's my own herbal blend - strawberry, mango, guava, and turkey drippings."
<SoiledGreen> should have gave him Crazy Glue.
<Samwise> It's also not "Can I use your hair gel?" but "Can I borrow a cup of hair gel?"
<Samwise> Which is somehow reeeeally weird.
<AliasN> You don't know this guy. He's got a tattoo of Tommy Lee on his arm...
<AliasN> weird doesn't even cover it.
<Samwise> Saving up for a Pamela Anderson tattoo on the other side of the elbow, so when he does curls, Tommy fucks her in the ass.
<SeanQ> didja tell him you want it all back?
<AliasN> Ewww, no.
<AliasN> It's not actually my hair gel, anyway, it's a roommate's.
<Samwise> Oh, so you've already laced it with silver nitrate.
<AliasN> No, I have not. I actually like my roommates and do not want them to explode.
<Samwise> But you'll give their hair gel to creepyguy?
<Samwise> You know he's just learning their scent.
<AliasN> Strangely enough he's one of my roommate's ex-boyfriends. He is well acquainted with her scent (yuuughhgh!)
<Samwise> Oh, is her scent unpleasant?
<Leth> so many directions to go with that, so little time
<SeanQ> funny, that's the same thing her ex said about her
<AliasN> D'oh! No, it's just that he is unpleasant. Well, not unpleasant...just, kinda...he's got a tattoo of Tommy Lee!
<Kyol> Back to the tattoo.
<Samwise> Ah. Wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that they might have scrogged on your kitchen table, would it?
<AliasN> Eww, ewww, ewww!
* AliasN bangs head against wall in effort to dislodge the image
<Samwise> Oh, nononono
<Samwise> Try the brain brillo. It hurts a little less.
* AliasN tries new extra strength Brain Brillo(tm)
<AliasN> Nope, doesn't seem to be working.
<SeanQ> try picturing it with 'Girls Girls Girls' blaring on your stereo, see if that helps
<AliasN> Why you wanna hurt me, SeanQ?
<Leth> No, no Culture Club, he said "Girls Girls Girls"
<Leth> besides, maybe it wasn't the table. Maybe it was that counter area near the sink
* AliasN plugs her ears "I'm not listening, I'm not listening"
<Kyol> That stain on the wall? It isn't sour cream.
<CrazyClimber> would you like a nice tangy dill pickle?
<SeanQ> all those stains they blamed onthe cat? nuh-unh-unh
<Samwise> Oh... and I hope you haven't used the salad tongs...
<AliasN> hehehehe
<AliasN> You people are disgusting. I knew there was a reason I was hanging out here.
<Leth> please....this is laid back
<AliasN> Oh.
<Samwise> When we're hot, we can make *ourselves* ill.
<SeanQ> and we're less disturbing than what goes on n the rest of that apartment
<CrazyClimber> yeah, i'm just working up my appetite for lunch.
* AliasN rethinks the whole "hanging out here" thing.
<Leth> We didn't even start in on those odd spots and smells on the sofa
<Leth> or the duvet
<Leth> or why the soda bottles seem...off
<Samwise> Or why the ottoman is always in a different position
<AliasN> You think I live in a frat house, I take it.
<raven> "I thought you said we were out of milk!"
<Leth> not necessarily, but if it skeeves, we run with it
<Leth> "Hey, great leftover chicken alfredo!" "Alfredo? We don't have any alfre- er, GEE THANKS"
<Samwise> Bah. If it were a frat house, you wouldn't be able to enter the kitchen.

<zompist> are you very picky about what you stick it in?
<Down10> I'm just a shut-in. But "picky" I'm not, in terms of women
* zompist cancels the order for a sheep
<sol-D> stick what in?
<zompist> li'l downie
<zompist> down jr.
<sol-D> downy? it's snuggly soft.
<zompist> poor guy

<me_tew> Congrats on the job, Drusie.
*** SIGNOFF: Drusilla (Quit: fuck)
<CrazyClimber> hey, dru
<CrazyClimber> and yes, i hope the job indeed is a good step up
<CrazyClimber> and perhaps even a role model to some other lj'ers
<Leth> um, bob
<Leth> *** Drusilla has quit IRC (Quit: fuck)
<CrazyClimber> oh
<CrazyClimber> well, i didn't really mean it anyway
<zompist> and she even addressed that quit message to YOU

<spinn> hrm
<spinn> so on the seventh day, god rested. and from this we take that sunday is a day of rest
<spinn> why don't we take wednesdays as the day to make mountains and lakes
<Samwise> You mean you don't?
<Craig> thou shalt remember Mountain Day and keep it holy
<zompist> bob already tells us when he makes dirtsnakes... i don't want to hear about his mountains and lakes
<spinn> then we should do all kinds of things god does
<zompist> dibs on smiting!
<spinn> I've never killed onan for jerking off
<spinn> oh, wait, actually he wasn't even jerking off, he was pulling out
<Samwise> Well, he's dead. Kinda redundant.
<spinn> but we should have church-supplied onans
<Craig> first thing I'm doing is retracting that whole "no more floods" promise.
<zompist> i'm going to try "fiat lux"
<zompist> and buy myself an italian car

<Sandry> You know, doom and gloom and teen angst is a step up from some journals, which seem to revolve around bitchiness and shipping.
<spinn> shipping?
<Sandry> Shopping, rather.
<zompist> i'd at least glance at a lj that was about bitchiness and shipping
<tieboy> FUCKING FEDEX I'LL KILL MYSELF
<CrazyClimber> hey, spinn has a segment of his site devoted to UPS and angst
<Sandry> But is he bitchy enough? I submit that he is not, leaving us with a void yet in the market.
<Down10> Airborne Express, you are like the middle child in a family of fools

<shil> question: how do you guys load the dishwasher?
<shil> front to back or back to front?
<CrazyClimber> nice euphe*ack*
<SeanQ> "Hey honey, the sink is fulla dishes again - take care of it!"
<shil> seriously
<Kyol> Front to back.
<TMR> Get the wife drunk.
<me_tew> Back to front
<CrazyClimber> i just have a sink, so top to bottom
<mdxi> bottom to top, actualy, with each level being loaded in no particular order. i load plates then glasses then whatever else.
<mdxi> so load order is determined largely by the design of the rack
<shil> see... i load back to front. makes SENSE to me. you start from the back and that way, you have room to put the last few things in.
<me_tew> Hm. First married arguement, shil?
<CrazyClimber> of course, mdxi's dishwasher runs perl code
<shil> actually, i'm talking about the top rack.
<Craig> randomly, with two loads never being quite the same. like a snowflake
<CrazyClimber> i'll talk about your top rack too shil
<TMR> The bottom rack ain't bad, either.
<SeanQ> I load the dishwasher like I used to make love before I got married - just stick things in any old place, then rinse with hot water

<Craig> so just how many types of sandwiches does ol' subway have?
<Drusilla> this many.
* Drusilla knocks Craig unconscious

<CrazyClimber> you'll be managing the place soon
<CrazyClimber> then you can beg ben to apply there
<CrazyClimber> so you can turn him down
<Drusilla> but he never took a cooking class
<Drusilla> how will he know how to put things on bread?

<SeanQ> what's the one my wife always orders... Subway Club or cold cut combo or something
<SeanQ> it's all turkey-based, even though they claim it has all diffeent stuff
<Drusilla> no.
<Drusilla> that'd be the cold-cuts.
<CrazyClimber> she's been studying, she knows her sandwiches
<Drusilla> i've been making them and ringing them up
<Drusilla> my parents went out
<Drusilla> they left me some turkey and cheese and bread
<Drusilla> i'm going to burn down the house
<SeanQ> it's like bologna, ham, and somethign else (all turkey based)
<SeanQ> just call it the Turkey Combo
<SeanQ> the fuck, if I want turkey, I'll order turkey
<SeanQ> it's all Jerods fault, that skinny cocksucker
<Drusilla> Jared.
<SeanQ> whatever
<Drusilla> Jerod is my boyfriend. My un-skinny boyfriend.
<SeanQ> is he turkey-based too?
<Drusilla> nope.
<Maus> Well.. when you eat him, do you get sleepy?
<Drusilla> Nope,
<Samwise> does he?
<Drusilla> no.
<mdxi> that's good at least

<hockwork> lots can't have kids or something?
<raven> shouldn't.
<mdxi> medically? who knows. but there are practical matters as well.
<raven> can't find a willing female.
<Leth> hock: think of the process that is necesary for that
<mdxi> like "touching a woman"
<raven> "chooses" not to.
<Leth> sort of like Ben "chooses" to live at home and not really find a job
<raven> well, when you're that over-qualified....
<mdxi> if only one could make sweet, sweet love to bacon
<ristoril> pretty sure you can do that mdxi.
<mdxi> ristoril: i meant "and have something happen other than soiling the bacon and making your wang un-kosher"
<ristoril> oh, good. because my next question was 'isn't he already doing that?'
<hockwork> "your wang has touched the unholy animal meat? oi-vey!"
<Leth> besides, once the chicken has ben choked, it's unkosher to make soup
<Leth> er, been
<ristoril> I doubt it's in much danger of being placed in anyones mouth, hock
<Leth> but the typo is funny too
<CrazyClimber> i always knew he was into fellowship
<Leth> "GRRKKMRRRRMMMFFF Damnit Mike, be careful next time! I could have really choked there! HGULGLUGHBLUUGH

<ristoril> the real challenge was doing the 'how long and directly can i stare without incurring the wrath of the bearer or her boyfriend' calculation
<Craig> What else factors into that calculation besides [boyfriend_height] and [boobsize]?
<Samwise> distance.
<Samwise> proximity to innocent starables.
<Samwise> boyfriend width.
<me_tew> Whether or not your tongue is hanging out during the stare.
<Craig> Type of motorcycle driven by boyfriend [Harley = cut seconds of stare by half]
<Samwise> shirt tied in the middle in the front = increase time by 1.5X
<CrazyClimber> taking san francisco bus = increase time by as much as you can
<Samwise> Oh, shit, we totally forgot the most important factor - who you're with at the time.
<CrazyClimber> well, it depends on how good your sunglasses are.
<Samwise> Sister? time * .75 Girlfriend? time * .25 Wife? time * .5 Mom? time * .00001
<Samwise> And those are assuming she's watching.
<Craig> buddies? time * 10.0
<Samwise> Or, time = [buddy time] * 1.01
<mdxi> what if your wife nudges you and says "look at the jugs on that one"?
<Samwise> Then your name is shawn and you probably have pictures of her already

<SeanQ-afk> In or out, make up your mind!
<Craig> "You trying to IRC the whole neighborhood?!"

<Maus> So I was at the Chinese Buffet, and I couldn't help but to think, "What would Thor Heyerdahl eat in a situation like this?"
<Leth> pfft, who hasn't gone through that before
<Maus> Oddly enough, Thor Heyerdahl hasn't.
<Craig> I was at the Whataburger today and pondered if Sir Edmund Hillary would supersize his french fries
<mdxi> he'd build a raft as a practical challenge to the traditionalists who hold that ancient polynesian peoples could never make it to the bar for seconds
<Maus> Charles Lindbergh would have eaten the General Tso's Chicken. Heyerdahl would hit the Mongolian BBQ bar.
<Leth> I heard he created a submarine out of spring rolls to prove that Indonesian divers were able to explore the ocean depths long before the Chinese
<Craig> tragically drowned when the cabbage wouldn't withstand the pressure at 2 feet.
<Leth> I didn't say he succeeded
<Maus> He should have used the shrimp variety.

<agent_orange> I want to be hockeyboi for three minutes
<agent_orange> I know a guy who'll pay a hundred bucks
<Drusilla> which 3?
<Down10> ...you do?
<zompist> just a hundred?
<agent_orange> the three between the weber grill beginning its journey up my shitdivot and the moment I black out
<zompist> do you start with the handle or the legs?
<Samwise> what in god's name for?
<mdxi> is it the Simpsons version?
<agent_orange> well, the handle
<Machival> what do you feel so guilty for?
<agent_orange> duh
<zompist> did you grow up catholic?
<zompist> you could probably expiate a lot of sins that way
<mdxi> accept the lord jesus christ into your life and america's favorite grill smokey joe into your bunghole
<agent_orange> sorry, I was having trouble with the tongs
* Drusilla shudders uncontrollably.
<Drusilla> seriously. very disturbing images.
<zompist> tongs go up the front, silly
* Machival 's penis inverts at the mental image.
<mdxi> where's that MPEG?
<agent_orange> oops! Brats are done!
<agent_orange> <unghf ughd ugnghf>
<agent_orange> okay, who wants one?
<zompist> i didn't order corn on mine
<mdxi> and by "brats" he means "small children"
* agent_orange aims his "dispenser" at Machival
<agent_orange> mustard?
<Machival> can you do relish?
<agent_orange> I can do it *with* relish
<agent_orange> I dunno. Hand me a pickle and I'll see

<spinn> you know what I want
<spinn> a quiet cd drive
<Samwise> A refreshing beverage?
<spinn> no, a quiet cd drive
<spinn> christ should I type louder
<mdxi> just dig up an old 4X drive. none of them actually seem to move data faster than that anyway
<spinn> A. QUIET. CD. DRIVE.
<Samwise> Sorry, spinn, was already typed by then.
<Drusilla> we heard ypu
<Samwise> I just went from 16 to 52x drive, and the noise bugged me for a while, but I don't notice it anymore.
<spinn> maybe you're too deef to hear the louder drive
<tieboy> we obviously need a moderator
*** tieboy is now known as Moderator
<spinn> yeah, maybe we do
<Moderator> HI! Welcome to spinnchat!!!!!! Please submit your questions!!!!!!!
*** Mode change "+m" on #spinnwebe by spinn
<spinn> okay, rist can talk next
*** Mode change "+v ristoril" on #spinnwebe by spinn
<spinn> make it good
<ristoril> boobies
*** ristoril has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by spinn (WRONG)
*** mdxi has set the topic on channel #spinnwebe to hahaha i circumvent your efforts to silence me
<spinn> okay sam now
*** Mode change "+v Samwise" on #spinnwebe by spinn
<Samwise> Well, here's a page on silent PC's, dunno if it'll help you mac users: http://pmitros.mit.edu/silence.html
*** Samwise has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by spinn (DULL)
*** tieboy has set the topic on channel #spinnwebe to this is elitist
*** Mode change "+v tieboy" on #spinnwebe by spinn
<spinn> let's try tie
<tieboy> HOLY LORD YOU'RE REALLY SLOSHING MY HEAD AROUND IN THE TOILET
<spinn> see there you go
*** Mode change "-m" on #spinnwebe by spinn
<tieboy> wooo!
<spinn> that wasn't so hard was it
<ristoril> i don't see how boobies can be wrong
<tieboy> i think it works quite well
<Drusilla> sure you do, tie
<tieboy> damn. s/TOILET/CRAPPER
*** tieboy has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by spinn (HERE'S SOME TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT)
<ristoril> umm... trip
<spinn> oh, I missed.
<Drusilla> you missed?
*** ristoril has been kicked off channel #spinnwebe by spinn (uh, I mean, HERE'S SOME TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT)
*tieboy* CAN WE DISCUSS THIS ONLINE

<mdxi> this is kinda messing with me. i've grown accustomed to 1-2.5 hours of not talking to me_tew and ristoril before other people show up
<mdxi> in my head, we're like the grumpy old men who always eat breakfast in the same restaurant without ever saying anything

<Drusilla> hm. i could change my name to Darlin'
<Drusilla> but then i'd have to become some sort of cowgirl stripper

<SeanQ> guess I didn't miss much yesterday
<CrazyClimber> someone must have said something funny
<CrazyClimber> hm
<CrazyClimber> you might be right
<Bonwag> Two people walk into a bar. One says something, something happens, and a participant offers a witty observation.
<Samwise> A baby seal walks into a club
<keith> An animal walks into a bar. The bartender says something that's funny because of what species the animal is.
<Bonwag> A husband and wife are discussing their respective roles. The male makes a statement, and the female makes a disparaging comment about sexual prowess
<me_tew> Bwahahahaha. I haven't heard that one before, Bon.
<keith> People of three ethnic backgrounds are talking to each other. One says something. Another says something else. The third says something racist about the first person.
<Bonwag> What do you get if you cross something with something else? A third thing which is humourous in comparison to the two things which constitute it.
<keith> A person knowck on a door. Someone else asks who is there. THe knocker responds with their first name. The person answsering the door asks for a surname. The first person responds with a surname that in fact is fake and is the punchline of the joke.
<CrazyClimber> and hey, how about those observational comments?
<Bonwag> How many people of a certain occupation or background does it take to replace a light globe? The number may vary, but must be stated and explained in a way which makes a witty observation about the futility of the whole exercise.
<Samwise> Odd that you all know so much about jokes but aren't funny.
<keith> A teacher is teaching a class. She asks the student a question. One of the students responds with an incorrect answer that either is cute due to his idiocy or funny due to his idiocy.
<SeanQ> guess I'm not missing much today either

<me_tew> Hey, Nashville has its first drive-through funeral home window!
<hockwork> "Would you like fries with the deceased?"

<Craig> Kinda lost touch with all things SW (other than the actual page and Mark's page(s)) but was reading that log of the D&D session and laughed so hard I required professional attention.
<me_tew> Medical, mental, or prostitute?
<Craig> A little from columns a, b, and c

<zompist> reminds me of a guy who wrote to me about his theory that every language had a word for *nose* beginning with n. he thought it was evidence for the tower of babel story.
<mdxiAway> that's a really bizarre thing to latch on to anyway. "nose".
<mdxiAway> why not "ferret" or "postcard"
<raven> Because of all the things we should remember after dismissal by an angry God, it's "nose".
<zompist> i guess god's nose was really impressive.

<zompist> dammit, why are these people sending me their build files?
<zompist> i don't want to build that product! it takes long enough to build our own!
*** CrazyClimber is now known as YourFirstReader
<YourFirstReader> See Zompist build
<YourFirstReader> See Zompist build files.
<YourFirstReader> Build files, Zompist, build!
<zompist> see zompist do little *but* build.
<zompist> on the plus side, i don't hate clearcase near as much as i did when i had to build the main spss product.
<CrazyClimber> mm, i had to use clearcase at another job. i can hate it for the rest of my life.
<CrazyClimber> i don't have a lot of hatred in me, but i don't mind putting aside a little for clearcase on a continuing basis.

<Kyol> cc, you only want to pretend to be shil so you can look at your boobs, and try to lick them and stuff.
<CrazyClimber> well, a lot of geeks can do that without pretending to be shil

<Kyol> OOh, a red letter day in the old diary, not one but _two_ applications for platinum visas came in the mail.
<Elkman> But isn't titanium better now?
* Raven is holding out for uranium visas.
<Elkman> I'd like a helium Visa. The rate just keeps rising.
<CrazyClimber> An oxygen Visa would give me some breathing room.

<zompist> bill gates should adopt elian!
<zompist> actually "elian" kind of sounds like a 100 monkeys name.
<raven> "Lian?" "No, *e*Lian...."

* Raven labels a bunch of floppies.
<CrazyClimber> "USELESS"?

<TomtheFish> fuckity fuck fuck fuck
<TomtheFish> so i get to eat dinner with tom menino and john kerry tonight
<Leth> Good god, they couldn't just give you jail time instead?
<TomtheFish> and the bass player from aerosmith
<TomtheFish> i'm going to go up to him and say "Hey, aren't you in aerosmith?"
<TomtheFish> "ya, i was just in florida. your ride ROCKS!"

<Kyol> Teens use drugs because life is less fucking trippy after you stop watching childrens programming.
<mdxi> i watched Mister Rogers yesterday.
<mdxi> i saw how stop lights are made
<mdxi> and King Friday apologized to Lady Elaine for breaking her favorite toy
<Kyol> That's what I miss about kid tv: How shit is made.
<mdxi> Daniel Striped Tiger is the shit. how can you not get the chicks with a name like that?

<jacquilyn> I'm scared. If mdxi's using windows, there's a real problem.
<mdxi> i'm banned from the sun lab
<mdxi> or else i'd be down there
* Leth sits down
<Leth> oh, this must be a good story
<Elkman> Banned? How did that happen?
<SeanQ> no more chili dinners for you, mdxi
<mdxi> i asked if i could help admin next year
<mdxi> and then proceeded to get into a 2 week flamewar with 2 of the current admins
<mdxi> and the dean of the department
<TomtheFish> and his mother
<mdxi> i'm not really banned, but i certainly don't feel comfortable there anymore

<Lots42> Sex sex sex.
<mdxi> no no no.
<Lots42> Last time I came in here sex was liked.
<mdxi> i do like sex. i was replying to *you* though.

<mdxi> i can't manage to be all superior right now. i'm touching a winbox.
<TMR> Bad touch!

<CrazyClimber> hock, wouldn't you say that mt. dew and ass taste a lot alike?
<hockwork> CC: I'd have to say Mt Dew tastes worse
<hockwork> mt dew is more fizzy, which is probably a plus..
<Leth> I would hope it's more fizzy than as- HEY
<Kyol> Mt. Dew is fizzy?
<Leth> TRYING TO EAT LUNCH HERE
<hockwork> well, its carbonated.
<hockwork> most, if not all ass isn't carbonated
<Kyol> But if you eat enough pop rocks....
<CrazyClimber> it can be fizzy though
<Samwise> fizzy?
<Samwise> I think you typoed 'fuzzy'
<Leth> I bet after a good chimichanga from the mex restaurant I could be carbonated, but you'll never know
<CrazyClimber> FINE SAM I'LL DRAW YOU A PICTURE AND MAIL IT TO YOU
<Samwise> Of a fizzy ass?
* Leth doesn't open photoshop

<spinn> I just saw a commercial for "DermaBond stitch replacement"
<spinn> basically a goop that doctors can use instead of stitches in some cases. but professional use only, so it ends with "ask your emergency room doctor if dermabond is right for you"
<ristoril> probably be the first thing on my mind when i go to the ER
<ristoril> and need stitches
<spinn> I see you have found the heart of my observation
<spinn> well done sir!
<ristoril> well, first comes understanding, then later i expect to be able to make witty contributions
<CrazyClimber> which stage is grief?
<spinn> between the two. except it's ours.
<tieboy> well. you could go to the emergency room for something else, like hamster extraction
<tieboy> and ask then
<spinn> "no, dermabond is not right for you. move your left leg, please."
<raven> "So, doc.... While we're waiting for the hamster forceps... what's this I hear about Dermabond?"
<tieboy> how the hell is an ER doctor gonna know what's right for me? he don't know me? he never seen me before!
<ristoril> Caution: Dermabond may cause lacerations that require stitches
<spinn> oooOOohhh
<spinn> the grief, the grief
<spinn> it consumes me
<CrazyClimber> i'd help you move on to acceptance if i could
<DMLaenker> ristoril: There are some things that are worse than stitches, and stitches are chief among them
<DMLaenker> Um, what are we doing trauma over?
<spinn> oooOOOOOOOoooOOOOooohhhhhh
<spinn> BRING ME ABSINTHE, IT CONSUMES ME
<raven> bahahahah
* raven imagines greg all dressed in black sackcloth, one of those old Italian lady doilies on his head, wailing and beating his breast....
<spinn> in a huge victorian four-poster bed
<ristoril> feverishly clutching a crucifix
* raven watches greg swoon with despair.
<tieboy> carnally

<SeanQ> I'm just to the right of that big red area on the doppler
<CrazyClimber> do you want your remains frozen, or should we do it behind your back?
<SeanQ> why the fuck will I care what you do with my body at that point - just keep hockeyboi away from it
<spinn> "Do this in memory of me." HUFF UFFF URRFF HMMF
<tieboy> "I've almost got sean's head all the way up my ass... damn tailbone ;) ;)"
<spinn> "tomorrow I start my anal training on his femur :)"
<SeanQ> you kow, after that whoel thing blew over, I realized I should've asked him how he could have limitations from his tailbone yet still have no spine
<SeanQ> I always think of the best damn lines after it's too late
<spinn> "maybe someday soon they'll just be bony fingertips and the top of the skull poking out.....sigh SIR will be so pleased :) :)"
<CrazyClimber> do you want your ashes frozen, or should we do it behind your back?
<tieboy> "all i ever wanted was someone to love me and sew me into a rotting laundry sack with some starving feral cats until they need me again :D"
<spinn> "grr...tired of ppl making jokes...i guess its easy to be closed-minded about wanting your dick wrapped around a hair roller and sanding it down with comet...some ppl NEVER grow up :("
<SeanQ> "sex isnt my whole life, I go to hockey games with Sir sometimes - well, it sounds like a hockey game, it's ahrd to tell thru the studded leather hood ;) ;)"
<tieboy> "My dad used to beat the shit out of me and lock me in a suitcase for days, the bastard. SIR beats the shit out of me and locks me i a suitcase for days, I LOVE HIM :) :) :)"
<spinn> "and I see no connection here whatsoever"

<SeanQ> jesus christ - lightning strike right outside
<SeanQ> okay, I think it's finally dangerous enough outside for me to try and run to my car
<tieboy> remember, if lightning strikes you, to stop, drop, jitter, burst into flames, and melt
<SeanQ> in that exact order?
<tieboy> nah, go with what feels right at the time
<SeanQ> I think I might fuck up and jitter before I drop

<Craig> I felt old yesterday when I realized that I've had my license for half my life. Jeez. I can remember what a huge deal that was...
<zompist> who had it for the other half of your life?
<Craig> Some bastard in Poughkipsee, NY. Duel. Shovels. Very nasty business.

<jacquilynne> Happy No Longer Canada Day, Not Quite Independence Day to all.
<Leth> you guys aren't Canada anymore? Finally accepted statehood?
<ristoril> Intermediate Day with Canada Ascendent in Pisces

<spinn> I miss altavista
<Zole> still exists.
<spinn> yeah, but they pissed me off enough that I don't bother going back
<Zole> What pissed you off?
<spinn> 24,000 ad popups per search
<Zole> there's that.
<Zole> also the fact that it has really dumb integrated ads
<Zole> search for eugenics, you get lines like "Buy "Eugenics" at Amazon.com!"
<Zole> or "Comparison shop for eugenics"
<raven> well, you don't want some shady fly-by-night company doing your genocide, zole.
<Drusilla> actually, wouldn't you?
<Drusilla> they'd fold and there'd be no connection to you.
<spinn> they'd probably take your money and just make people itchy
<Zole> No, they'd fold and spill the beans at their bankruptcy hearings
<Drusilla> whereas at Genocide Inc. they keep detailed records. and you'd be in big trouble

<sol-D> I also had a year of chorus. the teacher took pit yon me because the rest of the class was eithe rin it or band...
<raven> heh "Just sing very, very quietly...."
<MisterQ> Yeah, I started taking latin after my violin was confiscated by dolphins as a deadly weapon to their kind
<sol-D> "stand in the coner and don't move"
<MisterQ> "Can you just mouth the words?"
<MisterQ> "How about you show me your impression of a fish? What does a fish do? Open and close its mouth, just like that! Perfect"

<spinn> sol could probably fit in schumin's anus up to her waist
<zompist> i bet she couldn't!
<zompist> i bet you FIVE DOLLARS!
<spinn> mmyuhhuh!
* spinn holds out his pinky
<sol-D> I have a large head and wide shoulders
<sol-D> it wouldn't work
<spinn> beheh
<spinn> and here I thought there wasn't any way that line could be made any worse
<mdxi> here's a picture of the roadcone. here's me at walmart, buying the 23 tubes of KY i calculated as needed (actually 22.831). here's me checking out. here's be back home lubing the cone. here's me pre-lubing myself by squeezing in 2 tubes of good ol' KY. here's me warming up with a large MAGLITE...brrr that knurled aluminum is cold!
<zompist> i was picturing the other way, as well
<spinn> I was just picturing you stomping on his prostate like it was a vat of grapes
<zompist> eeeewwww, barefoot?
<hockeyfag> mdxi: this your fantasy live journal? or a Ben Schumin story?
<spinn> hfag.c: if ($mdxi_talk) then its_about_sex($mdxi_text);
<sol-D> Oh, well, if I'm going into his anus it's involuntarily.
<sol-D> kicking and screaming
<Drusilla> i should hope so.
<zompist> wouldn't you do it to settle a bet?
<Drusilla> how much is the bet?
<zompist> $5
<Freyja> kicking and screaming is good, adds to the mood... Can you also talk dirty?
<sol-D> I can talk about how to set plaster.
<zompist> in schumin's anus?
<sol-D> Yes.
<zompist> i'm going to add that to fortune cookies now
<sol-D> he'll have to keep a fan on for a few days.
<spinn> yeah, kicking and screaming is good, sol. cut off your nails and tie a rope around your waist and you could be his own personal hamster
<tieboy> don't forget to shave
<zompist> in schumin's anus
<sol-D> Oh no, I already cut off my nails! I don' wanna go in schumin's butt.
<zompist> just halfway in
<spinn> there's an amusing.org entry for you
<spinn> "I don't wanna go in Schumin's butt!"
<tieboy> I want to be debbie
<sol-D> I wouldn't even peek inside.
<Drusilla> I don't want to be in the same state.
<Drusilla> 'cos that's also where my grandma is, and i owe her money.
<zompist> even if there was something shiny inside?
<sol-D> No.
<zompist> really, really shiny.
<Drusilla> there's shinier things outside
<Drusilla> like dignity.
* mdxi imagines schumin giving annie sprinkle style speculum shows; dies of cardiopulmonary lockup
<sol-D> even if he had a guitar signed by John Flansburgh shoved up in there
<Drusilla> and this tiara
<zompist> what if he had an entire tmbg stage show inside?
<sol-D> then I pray for the fans.
<zompist> and they were playing a song you'd never heard before?
<zompist> a song NAMED AFTER YOU?
<sol-D> hehe. Thursday, August First in SCHUMIN'S BUTT!!!
<sol-D> Oh, well, I'd sit next to him. "in the parking lot"
* Drusilla shudders
<sol-D> and then bug for autographs after
<sol-D> I already have a song named after me, anyway. it's called "Andrea is a stupid bitch"
<Drusilla> after they showered?
<Drusilla> right sol? showered?
<sol-D> Yes.
<sol-D> or maybe if they had plastic suits like those little intel guys
<zompist> oh, let's not be silly. people with big suits on couldn't fit in there.
<spinn> schumin would just pray for Cowtown

<tieboy> i don't see why they need to give dwarves bad teeth
<tieboy> they're not mining for sugar
<sol-D> but they have to nibble through all of that rock candy
<zompist> jorie could give them some pointers on that

<tieboy> this sucks. i'm not even in a position to rag on ben
<spinn> you're sounding like sol, here
<tieboy> i didn't say I wouldn't
<tieboy> just that i'm not in a position to
<spinn> ben's milieu goes beyond mere unemployment
<SeanQ> qwell, you're legitimately trying to find a job, that puts you one-up
<SeanQ> your bed isn't inflatable, there's two
<spinn> next you're going to say you're more pathetic than ben, and that hiway is dreeeamy
<rJak> He isn't?
<spinn> okay, next rjak is gonna say it

<zompist> ooh, that reminds me, i was reading about a game that would work well online
<zompist> no, it's a party game. one person leaves the room, the rest of them devise a dream, the guy returns and guesses the content of the dream by asking yes/no questions, and is then allowed to psychoanalyze the dream
<Lore> This party sucks.
<keith> Yeah, who's wearing the lampshade?
<Samwise> Do you attend many parties?
<Drusilla> did the guy leave the room to get beer and drugs?
<Lore> Okay, let me turn off smartass shit mode.
<Lore> Uh.
<DnaError> This is why all of zomp's parties end in shame and cheap vodka
<Lore> I'm not really getting how this is intended to be fun, Mark.
<keith> The fun part is that the guy gets to leave the party for a while.

<wabewalkr> I'm sick of the Bear Test.
<Lore> When you're sick of the bear test, you're sick of life.
<wabewalkr> The only joy is when I get somebody really pissed and I get hate mail.
<Lore> Oh, it's on your PAGE!
<wabewalkr> "I don't care what the water represents! I'm not sexually repressed!"
<Lore> Now I see.
<wabewalkr> That's why I live in fear of Tieboy.
<spinn> I. What?
<Lore> Maybe I should go more droll. "You are about to have sex. Describe the sex. That represents how you feel about sex."
<wabewalkr> Heh.
<wabewalkr> I like that.
<wabewalkr> Subtext without the subtext.
<Lore> And games without frontiers.
<mdxi> doctors without borders
<wabewalkr> spam without shame.
<Lore> parents without partners
<Mia_D> porn without payment
<Lore> Within you without you

<Lore> Hi, Jacqui. You see a body of water in front of you. Describe it.
<jacquilynne> Hi, Lore, the body of water is crystal clear yet running quickly.
<spinn> I thought it was choppy on the surface and filled with shame
<wabewalkr> What, no rapids? No salmon bravely fighting thier way upstream?
<jacquilynne> He asked fo ra description of the water.
<jacquilynne> You want wildlife, you pay extra.
<raven> I bet.

<Samwise> malloc: go thither! http://home.us.net/~stimpy/OwMyAss/fucking_stop_already.mpeg
<spinn> I thought you two broke up
<jacquilynne> Apparently he got the mpeg in the divorce.
<Samwise> It's public domain by now.
<spinn> oh, so we legally have to call it "sam's mpeg" now?

<spinn> oh, and your elfstar bit in the martha stewart dealie brought malloc here
<spinn> so you are now responsible for him
<jacquilynne> Unless you can get Dodge to come and vouch for him.
<Lore> I thought malloc was a pre-existing condition.
<malloc> nope, before malloc there were no pointers, just void.
<spinn> and God said, #define LIGHT;
<malloc> well, it was Lore's bit that brought me here, but it was Samwise's mpeg that made me STAY.

<spinn> man, another pair of kids toasted in a car
<spinn> article is really enjoying making this lady look like the worst kind of heartless bitch
<Lore> The kind that won't sleep with you?

<jacquilynne> I'm so jealous. How come Lots never complains about me?
<spinn> well, this is a step up for him, jacq. for months it was all me, or anonymous messages that certainly must have been me
<spinn> then we moved up to people who are pawns of me
<spinn> now that he actually perceives us as separate people, I think he's ready to hold the sippy cup by himself

<spinn> gah
<spinn> howcanthismeananythingtome, we're prejudiced against long names here
<spinn> just ask angry_midget_monkey_pimp
<howcanthismeananythingtome> OK, Ok
<DnaError> or Terribly_fashionable_Viking
<ristoril> nickometer howcanthismeananythingtome
<jeeb> 'howcanthismeananythingtome' is 0% lame, ristoril
*** howcanthismeananythingtome is now known as schism
<spinn> ahhhhh
<spinn> ahhhhhhhh
<DnaError> soothing, refreshment
<spinn> relief washes over me like a cool, refreshing river
<Leth> it's as if a weighty burden was lifted from my screen

<Leth> then there's things like this: http://geekdroppings.tripod.com/Comp4.swf
<Kyol> unnnngh
<Samwise> Fucker. I was enjoying lunch.
<spinn> beheheh
<Leth> which only serve to place people into the fetal position under their desks waiting for the End Of Days
* jacquilynne elects not to click on the link.
<spinn> you could push q-tips directly straight into those nostrils
<Leth> I want credit for that victim
<Samwise> "See, it's not the best picture of me, because I had the flu." Oh, that strain that makes you not shave or wash your face and renders you unable to close your mouth for a moment, gotcha.
<spinn> it's the flu that makes you take pictures, download them to your computer, look at them, upload them to a site, post them on your page, and tell people it's there
<Leth> and then complain that it's not really what you look like
<spinn> doctors call it the Dumbfuck Strain
<Samwise> incurable. But at least the symptoms are easy to recognize at a distance.
<Leth> and look for sympathy on Fark because people photoshop it
<spinn> nah, leth, that's just a side effect of the Ultram
<Leth> oh, ok
<spinn> mixed with banana daquiri
<spinn> "doctor, can I take these with alcohol?" "only if it's a girly drink."
<Samwise> listed on the box: "May cause drowsiness, headaches, an urge to seek sympathy from the least likely sources, and loose stools"
<Leth> heh, on one of those bacon-stuffers' journals or on USENET he gets into this big discussion on how mixing liquor with painkillers is actually a good thing, they just put that on drug labels to be assholes
<spinn> gah!
<spinn> man
<spinn> to think his opinion of me once bugged me
<Kyol> We can only hope he deopresses his body into a coma.
<Samwise> Kyol: couple more bacon double cheeseburgers ought to do it.
<Kyol> baaaaaaaaacooooooooon!
<Lore> Fark photoshopped Lots?
<Samwise> We wish.
<Leth> well, he also needs to stop going to doctors in Florida. I happened to mention to a doctor friend of mine that Lots was on Vicodin and Ultram for migraines, and his response was to ask if the doctor was in jail yet

<spinn> you people gotta teach me to be more assoholic
<Kyol> There's nothing that can be done.
<Kyol> oh nothing indeed.
<Lore> Christ, how could we teach you to be more assholic?
<Lore> I think what you actually want, Greg, is someone to teach you how to quell that little pang of guilt you still get when you're assholic.
<Leth> Angst-Free Dickishness
<spinn> no, it's a different thing
<spinn> 'cos this event in particular was about lots lying about me, and then me feeling kinda bad still for telling him to leave
<Leth> man, spinn without angst is like summer without heat
<Samwise> Everything I Need To Know About Being A Royal Prick I Learned From Agent_Orange
<spinn> it's more about understand when someone's no longer worth my effort
<Lore> Oh, okay.
* Lore clears throat.
<Lore> What, hold on.
<Lore> When WAS he worth your effort?
<spinn> like, the mcyukkies thing, I felt like crap about that for a while, but ...mm, that's not a pain I'd want to be without
<spinn> I cut him slack for a long time
<spinn> same goes for dodge and kemlo for that matter
<Samwise> We're just waiting for the other shoe to drop with zomp.
<Leth> actually, I don't think I could get to Agt's level without feeling something akin to remorse
<DnaError> agt is above us mere mortals. Uberruffiani
<Lore> Is Dodge officially persona non spinnwebe? I thought he just got tired of us?
<spinn> the latter is true
<Samwise> Last time I saw him, he left in Huff v3.0
<spinn> I mean my feeling about him. apparently I gather I held respect for him much longer than was necessary
<Lore> Eh. I don't disrespect him, but maybe there's something going on of which I'm not aware.
<ristoril> just one thing?
<Lore> Heh.
<spinn> well, actually I guess it was that dumbass parody he made that pushed me over
<spinn> which just happened to come at a fragile time for me
<spinn> don't recall why now, though
<Lore> Your tea roses had aphids.
<DnaError> "My tea cozy is frayed! All will perish!"
<ristoril> i thought we called them cunts now
<Lore> I actually went to high tea for my birthday. Very much it was fun.
<Lore> Although I didn't know whether to put my cunt in my lap or leave it covering the spoon rest.
<ristoril> when in doubt, the cunt goes on the lap

<Mikki> gotta go, bye.
*** Mikki has left #spinnwebe
<spinn> looking forward to your next "hi"
<ristoril> the life of a shut in sure seems to be demanding
<ristoril> i mean, taking my 85-95% slackass life as a baseline
<DnaError> There are angry letteres to write,people to scowl at, bombs to prepare
<spinn> guess she has to keep combing the carpet fringe or mommy gets mad
<Lore> Sure. There's the ordering pizza. The rocking back and forth. The masturbating to visions of Winona Ryder.
<Lore> Is she a teenager?
<spinn> 18
<ristoril> if i can do that and still maintain a healthy adult life, she can too
<Lore> Good enough.
<spinn> for?
<ristoril> sellin'
<jacquilynne> I'm totally baffled by an 18 year old who can't cross a road.
<jacquilynne> And I'd add, she's clarified tht not only is she not allowed to cross it, she can't walk along side it.
<Lore> Eh. Call it a paranoid fantasy. I don't care for the idea of being called out for discussing moose colons and sex with defibrillators with a 15-year-old on the channel.
<jacquilynne> I mean, christ, what are her parents going to do if she sneaks out one sunny afternoon and crosses the street? Ground her?
<jacquilynne> Like that'll make a fucking difference.
<Lore> A difference in what sense?
<jacquilynne> I mean, given what she's told us about her life, being grounded and not being grounded would be much the same state of affairs.
<spinn> maybe she loses bathroom privileges
<Lore> Oh, that.
<Lore> I thought you were saying that it makes no difference whether my smut talk takes place around minors.
<jacquilynne> I wouldn't know about that, Lore, whether you share smut with teenagers is a moral decision for you and your local law enforcement officers.
<spinn> and how is it I've missed the defibrillator sex

<Lore> Hey, how does your semen taste?
<Leth> they call him Greg Macintosh
<DnaError> like vanila coke, but without the vanilla or coke
<Lore> Of the Boston Macintoshes?
<Leth> and not for the computers he uses
<spinn> I dunno.
<spinn> and I'm entirely out of my odd openness phase
<Lore> Awwwwwwwww.
<Lore> Now we'll never know.
<spinn> you'll have to get back to me when saturn is ascendant in taurus
<Leth> man...so no new pictures of spinn in his natural habitat?
<ristoril> you've seen one unwashed pasty caffeine addict, you've seen them all
<Lore> What if you see a bunch of them?
<Lore> What if you work with them?
<Leth> pfft... I see one every time I look in the mirror, so it doesn't bother me

<Lore> CHRIST MY EYES WHY DID YOU PASTE THAT BOB?
<Lore> Oh, sorry.
<Lore> I was looking at the wrong window.
<CrazyClimber> GUIs are hard
<Samwise> Let's go shopping!

<CrazyClimber> also, headline on chicago tribune's web site: "12,000 to get Alzheimer's drug refunds"
<CrazyClimber> best part is, it will be a surprise to most of them

*** lunchrist is now known as ristoril
<spinn> ah, the savior of Lun has returned
<ristoril> i come bringing tidings of *burp*
<raven> "I died so that your sins may be forgiven. Yours. yes, you by the punch bowl. Lun, isn't it?"
<ristoril> i took some bread, broke it, and passed it to Lun. I said, "eat me"
<mdxi> Do Me In Remembrance Of This
<spinn> your own. personal. ristoril.
* raven shudders.

<Kyol> TMI moment for Lots: Apparently, he doesn't look at his toilet paper after he wipes, he just _knows_ when it's clean.
<Kyol> *shudder*
<Lore> Most people examine their used toilet paper?
<Kyol> Well, not so much as examine it, no.
<SeanQ> you look at your dirty toilet paper, you dink?
<Kyol> But, you know, casually glance at it in the "All clean" sort of sense.
<Lore> No, that's the point!
<Lore> Hrm.
<Lore> Okay.
<Lore> STARTING OVER.
<tieboy> so where's the damn lots page already?
<Lore> 1) You are telling me that Lots does NOT examine toilet paper once he's used it.
<Kyol> s/examine/even look at/
<Lore> 2) You are telling me that you do.
<mdxi> i just waddle out to the yard and hose down
<Down10> What's the concensus over looking at your wipes? Okay or not okay?
<ristoril> well, *I* don't like to have big brown stains on my undergarments
<ristoril> and i don't want to wipe myself raw
<tieboy> how else do you know when you're done?
<ristoril> tieboy: apparently, if you're lore, when you see blood in the water
<Lore> If it ain't clean after three passes, it ain't gonna get clean.
<tieboy> it might get clean on the 4th pass
<SeanQ> if you wipe more than thrice, you're playing with yourself
<Lore> Apparently I'm eating less tar than y'all.
<SeanQ> tie, just make sure one of the choices is "You have someione else examine your toilet paper for you"
<Lore> Maybe this is why I like poop jokes less than most of my peers. I haven't spent as much of my life staring at it.
<Down10> This is why toilet paper is stark white, instead of paper bag brown
<Kyol> Yeah, that occurred to me for Lots. "MAAAAAAAAAA! C'mere and look at my toidey paper!"
<SeanQ> "MAAAAAH! I sure like corn!!"
<Lore> I mean, I check the bowl out before I flush to make sure I haven't expelled any blood or lizards...
<Kyol> You regularly pass lizards?
<Lore> No, which is why I want to know if I start.
<Kyol> Good reason.
<Kyol> So, you're like Rimmer, then Lore?
<Kyol> Up, down, and spit-shine?
<Lore> No, I use more than one sheet per pass.
<Lore> You all realize that now that you all know my toilet habits I'm going to have to go out and make new friends.

<tieboy> Thong-checking administrator demoted
<Samwise> That's sad.
<Samwise> Unless demoted is how the press say "transferred to teaching special ed in Nome, Alaska"
<tieboy> "I'm a thong-checking administrator! It's my title! I was just doing my job!"
<Lore> Sure, that's what the Thong-Checking SS Stormtroopers said.
<Lore> Die Zapfen-Kontrolleure

<Down10> I'm assuming you had no such luck, tie
<tieboy> I've had as much luck as a thing that has little or no luck
<tieboy> only less
<Down10> So on the scale of fortune, you're just above "crippled Somalian"
<mdxi> but just below "hooker having sex with Andrew Lloyd Weber"
<Lore> "One thing I'll say for them, hookers are cooooooool."
<Kyol> ow. ow. ow. feta in the sinuses.

<zompist> "i feel pretty" is kind of your theme song, right?
<Kyol> Nah, doesn't work with the goatee.
<Kyol> or van dyke or whatever the fuck it is.
<zompist> something with dyke in it, for sure

<jacquilynne> Also, since the driver's licence renewal place is in the same plaza as the Corning Rever outlet, I bought myself lots of new things for my kitchen. Since I was there already, anyway.
<CrazyClimber> hope you got one of those "safety" can openers
<jacquilynne> No, though, my current can opener is due for replacement.
<Mikki> my can opener sucks
<jacquilynne> Your parents let you have a can opener?
<mdxi> yeah really
<Mikki> they have to if they want me to cook dinner
<mdxi> those are SHARP
<Mikki> no mine's pretty dull
<mdxi> it could cut it's widdle fing-fing
<tieboy> i just use a screwdriver to poke a hole, then suck out the contents
<Mikki> oh for the love of God
<tieboy> if you've never shotgunned canned pear-halves, well, you just haven't lived
<tieboy> widdle. fing-fing.
<Kyol> different. nuprin.
<mdxi> have boo-boo.
<mdxi> did you know that the same Bayer AG chemist who isolated salicyclic acid (asprin) also isolated heroin?
<tieboy> duh
<tieboy> who doesn't know that
<mdxi> small children in the rain forests of indonesia probably don't
<CrazyClimber> that's two different levels of boo-boos he was trying to help
<zompist> otoh, children in the rain forest can have sex at 14, so it all evens out

<Mikki> there was just a car accident outside my window
<mdxi> maybe you should call 911. or is the devilphone verboten?
<zompist> now's your chance! run out and ask them to adopt you
<me_tew> Did they get boo-boos on their fing-fings?
<mdxi> so you're trapped at home all day with a cable modem as your only access to the outside world.
<Mikki> yep
<CrazyClimber> after years of hypnosis, her hand burns when she touches the devilphone

<Freyja> I suggested changing the editorial direction and shifting the paradigm from "writing" to "goth midget porn".
<Freyja> what do you think, dru? Know any midgets who could perform for cheap?
<Freyja> you'd definitely make more money
<Drusilla> mm... no.
<Drusilla> i was thinking... monkeys.
<Drusilla> or packing peanuts
<Freyja> monkeys always sell well too.
<zompist> goths get too much press as it is. what about the alemanni? the thuringians? the hsiung-nu?

<ristoril> someone really should point mr-ben (or one of his cadre of 'rebels') to it heh
<Lore> Ben has a cadre?
<Leth> that's a nice euphemism for "voices"

<me_tew> How's married life so far?
<shil> great! :)
<me_tew> And he's enjoying it too?
<shil> yep :)
<zompist> no regrets?
<shil> none at all :)
<zompist> stomach-ache from too much cake, champagne, and other interesting substances?
<shil> there was too much going on to really eat much, the church didn't allow alcohol, and I stopped doing all interesting substances last year.
<shil> well.. right now, it's mello yello and reeses puffs cereal.
<shil> i'm boring and uninteresting now.
<CrazyClimber> geez, i bet you aren't even interested in selling your underwear to strangers on the internet anymore
<shil> nope. heh
<CrazyClimber> well, we'll always have the memories
<Samwise> and the .jpgs

<CrazyClimber> are you like a fundie now or something?
<shil> no, just... settled.
<me_tew> "married"
<CrazyClimber> whew. some people just get it out of their systems, but some overcompensate and find the Lawd.
<Samwise> *sniff* all grown's up.
<me_tew> "out of circulation"
<Leth> "no longer purchasing dairy"

<Lore> Better yet, I think, would be a "stop getting songs stuck in your head" pill.
<Lore> You find yourself humming "Runaround" a little too long, pop a pill.
<Samwise> Or, just something you could listen to that'd "erase" any song currently in your head...
<Samwise> ...much like sorbet is used to cleanse the palate.
<CrazyClimber> ah, i was wondering if maybe that was why spinn wants his manjuice to be apple-flavored.
<Lore> He wants apple come in order to erase music memories?
<ristoril> i thought he wanted to market it as a condiment
<Lore> "You want Spinnjizz with that? How many packets?"
<CrazyClimber> i got this second-hand, so i defer either to the original source (who is here now) or to him himself.
<Samwise> You know, I make it a point to refuse secondhand jizz.
<Samwise> Or firsthand, for that matter.
<Lore> Thirdhand or later, that's for you.
<CrazyClimber> with a nearly completely checked routing list on the container
<Samwise> Well, by the time it gets to the third hand, it's barely recognizable as spooge anymore. And difficult to pass along.
<Lore> Wait. Is firsthand jizz your own jizz, or would that be zerothhand?
<Samwise> one moment... (urph ooph hurf)
<CrazyClimber> apparently we're all thinking about that quite a bit
<Leth> I, for one, am not

<SeanQ> Collette scored the 95 on the temp test?
<Lore> Yeah.
<SeanQ> and you're still with her?!?
<Lore> What can I say, I like women who know when and how to lie like a vertiable motherfucker.

<zompist> ok, go ahead, try to seduce me!
<ristoril> hey, baby.
<zompist> NEXT!
<Lore> Mark, I want to soil you as I have soiled many a warm canteloupe.
<Freyja> O Zompiste, votre beau gros cerveau palpitant de connaissances linguistiques me rend toute chaude.
<zompist> freyja moves easily into first place. i'm all woozy.
<Kyol> Oh, sure, bring _frog_ into it, frey.
<Lore> Um. Uh.
<Freyja> no way, Lore's cantaloupe trumps French any day
<Lore> t'CHalk mnEq Duq'halh hKeh, Zompist.
<me_tew> I though soiled cantaloupe _was_ a French dish.

<Lore> This sucks so much dick, you could write a jump rope rhyme about it, in which the question "How many dicks does this animation suck?" is asked, and answered by counting the number of times the rope-jumper successfully jumps the rope, and you would NEVER get to the actual, true level of dick-suck that this animation reaches.

<CrazyClimber> half the time i swear he's lots
*** DnaError has joined #spinnwebe
<raven> speaking of.
<DnaError> what?
<DnaError> was I being discussed?
<SeanQ> of course you were
<SeanQ> you weren't here
<CrazyClimber> which part of your body was burning?
<DnaError> my upper arms
<SeanQ> I don't think anyone hd that in the pool.... that mean the money carries over until the next time he joins?
<zompist> no, half goes to the get-'em-laid fund
<CrazyClimber> there's a lot more competition for that fund than there used to be
<mdxi> i'd hate to be on the grant committee
<Freyja> which is now up to a couple dimes, an ass-penny and a few Lemonheads. Someone throw in a crack rock and we can get Down a woman.

<raven> So who the hell is Morwen?
<KemloCaesar> The name sounds vaguely Tolkienesque...
<kaufman> or Arthurian
<KemloCaesar> Well, Tolkienesque can be considered a subset of Arthurian.
<KemloCaesar> Good god, you're right. I really *do* sound like that.
<raven> Welcome to Name That Startling Self-revelation!
* SeanQ i