<me_tew> So Lita is pregnant by either Kane or Matt Hardy.
<tieboy> it's spelled "Lida" and she's pregnant by zomp
<zompist> and don't you forget it
<zwit> Congratulations, zomp.
<zwit> Truly, your sperm are motile.
<tieboy> he got her so pregnant she's giving birth to uhh... can't finish joke
<zompist> i don't think the finnish joke's been on lately
<zwit> something about baby-talk and conlangers
<zwit> anyway. How many months along is she?
<SeanQ> you knocked up the old lady? how'd I miss that announcement?
* tieboy sits back and puts his feet up on the desk, his work done
<SeanQ> congrats on your virility, fertility, and gentility
<tieboy> zomp is so virile that when he jerks off, there's a kid there in the morning
<babich> ties so virile that when he jerks off, you know there was a kid there to begin with
<zompist> now tie know why i insisted on using a condom with him
<zwit> he's smaller than your individual sperm?
<zwit> do you know the fetus's gender?
<Freyja> whoah wait a minute here
<Freyja> who's got a fetus?
<Freyja> zomp's got a bun in the oven?
<zompist> i'm just playing along till i get gifts
* babich sends zomp a fetus in the mail.
* tieboy sends zomp wooden blocks with made-up letters on them
<zompist> please to be accessing the kid's amazon wishlist, conveniently listed under both his or her english and verdurian names
<tieboy> "Awww... his first word was "blijf ik"

<Lore> I don't like how Amazon has a link to "The Page You Made."
<Lore> I feel like I'm being blamed for something.

<Freyja> yeah I gotta say I like the darker stuff myself.
*** mdxi has changed the topic on channel #spinnwebe to <Freyja> yeah I gotta say I like the darker stuff myself.
* Freyja sighs
<Freyja> gimme uncut black monster cock, all night long, that's totally what I meant
<tieboy> I like my black monster cock cut, personally
<Freyja> oh good, no fighting then.
<tieboy> otherwise sometimes the foreskin will slip up and deflect some of the hot jizz away from my upturned face
<zompist> timing is important, tho'
<Freyja> monster cocks, please form two single files according to state of foreskin
<zompist> if you're using the same black monster, frey goes first, then you can bring on the knife
<tieboy> maybe 1/2 cut will come into vogue
<Freyja> heh, decorative patterns
<Freyja> a nice scalloped edge
<zompist> nike logo
<Samwise> teeth
<tieboy> like the end of a sleeve, with a slit and a button so you can roll it up on fridays
<Freyja> ohh, I love a man who can wear cufflinks
<Leth> then you'll get all the hispanic kids ricing them up, tassles along the edges, hydraulics...
<Freyja> oh jesus. Neon.
<Freyja> cock mods, little window on the side so you can see how he replaced his plain urethra with a cool glow-in-the-dark rounded cable
<Leth> the front end bouncing up and down to a beat as you approach
<Freyja> I thought that came standard

<babich> crap, Gatorade now has 5 different flavors for every color. I thought I grabbed Grape, but I got Frost: Cascade Crash (EXTREME! ESPN25 Limited Edition) which tastes like elephant colon
<babich> to be fare, it tastes like EXTREME! elephant colon, so I don't really feel cheated.
<Leth> I take pride in not being able to compare anything with the taste of an elephant's ass
<babich> I like to think that I've broadened my horizons as a youth
<zompist> hey rave! can you do a quick check of the logs to see if leth ever compared something to the taste of elephant ass?
<tieboy> tough search. leth + elephant + ass could bring up hits on logs he wasn't even participating in

<jacquilyn> I'm reading quotes and I can't decide if I've read these quotes before or if I just reemmer the original conversations.
<Kyol> You were just psychically tuned into the channel.
* Samwise puts a thought in jacqi's head
<tieboy> "Sources familiar with Jaquilyn's thoughts determined she would ask that question."
<jacquilyn> Damn, I thought I was psychically tuned into the fern. You mean that was one of you who kept repeating 'please don't let the dog pee on me' over and over again?
* SeanQ raises tieboy's hand

<me_tew> Barbie has a new love interest, an Austrailian surfer named Blaine.
<AliasN> Blaine? Blaine?! That's not a name, that's a major appliance!
<AliasN> sorry, Pretty in Pink flashback
<Leth> Australian surfer is slang for vibrator, maybe?
<me_tew> That could work, Leth.
<me_tew> "Beach living Cali Girl(TM) style wouldn't be complete without a summer romance, and Blaine(TM), the suave new Aussie surfer in the group, caught more than a few waves when he snagged Barbie(R) doll's attention. With a mature character and worldly, seasoned surfing style, Blaine(TM) doll is giving America's surfer girl some tips and tricks from international waters."
<AliasN> Barbie is such a total ho-bag

<tieboy> There is an odor in the breakroom. There is also a lot of bags without names on them, so would everyone please check and see if they might have something that is spoiling. Thank you Betty
<raven> "Or, you know...DAVE, if you could perhaps bathe."
<SeanQ> "Dear Betty. that smell is not in the break room, It is following you around in your pants. Please check to see if you have anything in your pants that is beyond its expiration date"
<SeanQ> "Kisses, Chris"
<me_tew> "I am offended that you consider my ethnic foodstuffs 'spoiled'. Please consider that not all cultures consider Big Macs as an appropriate odor. Thank you Zimb(click)lalon"

<Lore> I like his Harry Potter dream. I can just imagine the Sorting Hat yelling "DORKULOS! HOUSE DORKULOS FOR YOU!"
<tieboy> the sorting hat.
<tieboy> the sorting hat must get real fucking bored except for that one day a year
<tieboy> I wonder if they use if for other things, like groceries. "The Crisper! The Endive shall go in the Crisper!
<tieboy> "Side pocket! Three ball in Side Pocket!"
<Lore> "ANAL! ANAL!"
<tieboy> "In the basket! It puts the lotion in the basket!"
<Lore> Maybe he serves as a filter for owl spam.
<tieboy> it would be kinda funny if he never shut up. Hat: "Your Socks go into the Sock Drawe-" Dumbledore: "Yeah I fucking GOT IT take a BREAK"
<tieboy> "I do definitely NOT go into the hamper with the jockstraps from the Quidditch match! Definitely not mpgphhlpph mgpphgghh"
<Lore> Do they wear jockstraps in Quidditch?
<Lore> That seems unwizardly.
<Lore> You'd think they'd just use the Testiculus Impenetrabilis spell.
<tieboy> enchanted jockstraps?
<Lore> No thanks, I just ate.